Sh*t Courtney Stodden Can Do Now That She's Single

As you may have read in my C Stodd-themed fan fiction entitled, "Dourtney Does Dallas," Courtney Stodden and Doug Whatever (I can't be bothered to google) are getting divorced. While this is a huge hit to those that believe in fairy tale love stories, this opens up (heh) Stoddie to a whole new world (of weens) of experiences as a single homegirl. Here are a few things she can now try on her path to being forever alone.

Dance to "Single Ladies" at her high school friends' weddings. Boo boo is DAMN 19 YEARS OLD, so she has roughly 20 more years of attending friends/acquaintances/dude that works at the neighborhood gas station's weddings. Time to get the Beyoncé hand flip perfected, honey.



She and this baby are roughly the same age, so this seems like kismet. I smell a collabo!

Double date with Kris Jenner or whatever newly divorced Housewife of Somewhere. The Stodd-ster LOVES the media, so it seems like this sh*t would go hand in Sadsville hand. Is Taylor from RHOBH still single? Danielle Staub?

I know, I went too f*cking far when I brought up the likes of Danielle Staub.

Make even better music videos. Now that she's single, CD can focus on important sh*t, like making her top-notch music videos that feature things such as:

Sexy candy shots on a nightstand!

Pharaohs!

These things are all fantastic, but you should always strive for more, so I'm hoping that future Stodden-ton vids go more in this direction:


via reddit

So topical and accessorized, sprinkled with near nip slips and white pantyhose! I think we should all pitch in and get Court a gift certificate for keyboard lessons for her Divorce Party, that she's sure to throw herself.

Love is a lie. RIP.








Pin It