Tuesday, July 23, 2013

THE ROYAL BABY IS HERE, So Let's Use Baby Products to Look Hot.


I mean, yaaaayyy, and everything, but what it really got me thinking...

"If babies are born, and you have to buy a lot of sh*t for them, can you then use that sh*t for beauty purposes?" - Low Rent Carrie Bradshaw

johnson's baby shampoo, $3.99 at target
Baby shampoo is kind of a boss b*tch, yo. You can use it for a ton of things. My favorite use is for cleaning makeup brushes. Because, well, those sh*ts are made from animal hair...and this is a shampoo. It's gentle, so it won't eff up your brushes, but it will still remove gross oils and makeup gunk.

Bonus: Another great use for this mess is an alternative to shaving cream, which I personally hate. Because baby shampoo is so mild, it won't strip or irritate your skin, and it provides lots of glide (heh) for the razor.

johnson's baby powder, $2.44 at target
Baby powder is like the super OG dry shamps. Back a million years ago when I looked like this:

I could not LIVE without baby powder. My hair was super fragile (effing obviously), so I tried to wash it less, and baby powder was my jammiest jam that's ever jammed. Plus, it's the cheapest dry shampoo that's ever sopped up hair oil. Bottom line, unless you have dark hair, you need this sh*t in your life for $2.

Bonus: You also use b. powds to but the kibosh on foot stank when you're wearing shoes without socks. Fresh to death in this b.

shea moisture organic raw shea butter baby oil rub, $10.29 at target
Full disclosure, here. I've never used this specific baby oil, BUT I'M TOTALLY BUYING IT ASAP. Because here's my baby oil deal -- I love that sh*t to use instead of a body lotion. BUT, I hate the smell, and I'm not fond of rubbing mineral oil all over my skin, because I don't even know what the eff it is. So both of those issues are solved with this baby oil, and I almost want to have a baby so it's not weird for me to buy the ish out of this stuff.

Bonus: Baby oil is also great for removing pain in the ass eye makeup. Just swipe it on with a cotton ball, then follow up by washing your face like normal.

Look out, ROYAL BABY, because we're coming for your damn beauty products.

Hide yo' powders, hide yo' 'poos. But not your POOS poos. We don't want those, Josie Grossie.

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