GUUUUUURL of the Day: Atreyu From The Neverending Story All Growed Up

pic via buzzfeed

You w's know that The Neverending Story is my perpetual jam. So I'm going to make this little ditty fast, because I went to a spin class (Shut up, I do stuff sometimes.) and I have actually take a shower. Being a grown up can suck it, seriously. Anyway, the cat with the chunky highlight and the gun show is (kind of) current day kid that played Atreyu TNS. Yep. There he is. Mmmmkay.

In other news, I hope he got to keep that sweet, sweet snake pendant necklace. I've been trying to buy one like that for like 20 years. And you know he kept that tunic and still wears it. I can see it in his arched eyebrow.



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Random Homie: Redken for Men Clean Brew Extra Cleansing Shampoo

I'm into a dude (shampoo). Here's how it happened. Redken sent me a sample of their Clean Brew shampoo, and after my husband's diva ass refused to try it, I decided to give it a go on my own dirty mop. From Redken:

"Anti grit technology, with a premium blend of malt, brewer’s yeast and orange zest, intensely cleanses to eliminate dirt and oil while helping to purify the scalp."

I thought to myself, "Yep, I need all of that ish. I'm grossly dirty and oily." So I used it, like any boss b would, and I haven't looked back. I like to use this shampoo once or twice a week to get rid of all of my oily/dirty mess. I follow it up with a a semi-deep (Heh.) conditioner, and my hair is like an effin' dream. It smells like a boy, but that doesn't bother me in the least. Clean dudes smell good, right?

I will caution ladies with vibrantly dyed/fragile/dry hair from using this. It could eff up your world. But if you're oily or use a lot of styling products, jump on the dude shampoo clarifying train. There's plenty of room on board for all of us broads. Toot toot!

If you're into it, you can purchase here for about $14.




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BREAKING NEWS: Tracy Morgan (Jordan) Has a Shark Tank

Tracy Morgan on WhoSay

AND IT IS ENCASED IN A FAUX SHARK MOUTH. What would Liz Lemon say about this?

via fakezombieseagoon

Yep. That about sums it up.


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Okay, Okay! JLH Has a Boyfriend.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has vajazzled her way into her The Client List co-star's heart. She has apparently been getting her chitty chitty bang bang on with her kind of sleepy-looking play TV husband, Brian Hallisay, for about eight months. Go 'head, girl, get down. I'm proud of JLH. B hasn't said a PEEP about this ish, and you know she likes to talk. Maybe someone finally dropped some truth bombs on her ass.

Although I kind of wish she was getting it on with her other love interest/brother in law on the show, Colin Egglesfield.

I mean, hey there, soulja. He's hot, so he took off his shirt, but his nips were cold. Okay? Keep up the sexy, Eggs.



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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Lindsay Lohan's Poly Sci Tweets

The debate was last night, as you might've known if you want to watch 2 Broke Girls, or whatever, and were totally c-blocked. I love to go on Twitter during the Presidential debates because people get all fired up and ish and it gets super crazy. Little did I know that I was in for a wonderful assault on my eyes and brain, from ol' reliable -- Lindsay Lohan. Here's how it started:

B, what the eff are you talking about? Are you debating a ho? (In case it's not clear, the answer is no.) Why are you nervous? Then came this:

I'm sure that Bill Maher wants to message back and forth with you on your political thought/random nervousness, Lilo. And why did you take the "o" out of God? What is happening here? Well, finally the debate is over, and this pops up:

Oh, she's relieved it's over. EVEN MORE SO THAN THE FRIGGIN' PEOPLE IN THE ACTUAL DEBATE. I can't even with you right now, Lindsay Lohan. This is what it's like following this person on Twitter.

via unitedstatesoftony

And for that, Lindsay, you and your ridiculous political tweets are the GUUUURL of the day.

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Random Homie: ck one Lip Gloss

I know you guys remember ck one from back in the dizzle. I really wanted to use a picture of my pubescent self wearing a ck one t shirt and I don't know, either jorts or umbros, but it wasn't in the cards. So here's an Etsy mannequin wearing one instead.

pic via this person's etsy

I also went through the whole ck one perfume in a bottle that looked somewhat flask-y phase. Whatever, you remember all of that. But then the whole deal kind of fell off of my radar. I moved onto Pleasures, or whatever. Fast forward to (kind of) current day. Some of you guys know that I won a suitcase of product when I won the Allure Beauty Blogger of the Year contest. Here it is:

Yep, that's an ish load of product. So I am going to try and do occasional posts/reviews on all of that stuff as I work my way through.  (Check back with my ass in 84584 years.) And somewhat randomly, today's product is a LIP GLOSS from ck one, which I didn't even know existed. Worst beauty blogger, ever, party of one? But you b's already knew that.

The color is called Illicit, and you can get it at Ulta for $15. This boo boo is my jam right now for times when I want an easy, pinky neutral gloss with some sparkle. It's one of those glosses that you can apply without even looking. It's smooth and not sticky, and smells like a delicious vanilla cookie, or something. And the applicator is boss, too.

Right? Don't you love these kind, instead of those crazy, unwieldly baby brushes? It's also large and in charge, so it's a pretty good value. Okay, I'm sick of talking about factly type ish. Let's look at Ryan Reynolds.

It's that ho's birthday today, so let's all be thankful that all of that is happening on this planet. Viva la abdominals!




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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Eva Longoria's Ex-Dude Tattoos

pic via tmz

Eva Longoria has been divorced from that Tony Parker dude for a while now. So she's apparently getting her THREE tattoos that are dedicated to his ass lasered off, which seems like a good idea. One is even allegedly near/on/in close proximity to her lady business/swimsuit area. So here's the thing, E Long. One should probably not get a gentleman's name tattooed on any no-no spot. If that mess doesn't work out -- which it did not in this case -- that's just a sticky-icky sitch down there. (Gross. Sorry.) How are you supposed to get on with your life, and read your book club book in the tub or whatever, when you keep seeing ol' guv'nor's name all up in your place?

So ladies, (I'm looking at you, too, Angie Jolie. BILLY BOB THORNTON? Really?) can we please stop tattooing guys' names on our flowery bits? If you're feeling crazy, go vajazzle yourself until your heart's content. And for that, Eva, you and your ex-man tattoos are the GUUUURL of the day.




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