Video Time: Every-Damn-Thing I Use On The Daily

I made a crazy, long ass video on pretty much every friggin' thing that I use beauty-wise (and some random shit) every day. You are probably throwing me an "I give exactly zero effs" side eye through the interwebs right now, so feel free to skip this video if you aren't interested in my mess of a daily life.

If you are into this, I cover everything from skin care products to deodorant, to makeup and the earrings I've been wearing for a solid four years. If you have any questions about anything I mention, holler at your girl in the comments.




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Gross Beauty Probs, Quit Killing My Vibe.

It's always something with me, man. I can't just let shit be. I'm constantly stressing myself out over SOMETHING beauty-related. My current freak out is getting rid of all things gross on my body. More specifically, dead face skin and hard water hair distgusting-ness.

After massive amounts of research (okay, googling), I found two products that pretty much slayed these annoying issues. So now I can be on to the next one. Great.

Hard Water Hair: Malibu Hard Water Treatment

I really got the idea of how shitty my water is stuck in my brain wrinkles after I started using Keracolor Purify Plus. I began obsessing over the hard water stains on my shower door that I just couldn't get off and thinking, "IF THE WATER IS DOING THIS TO GLASS, WHAT THE EFF IS IT DOING TO MY HAIR???" So I started researching about how to rid hair of hard water deposits, which can eff your hair game up MAJOR.

That's when I came across the Malibu C Hard Water Weekly Demineralizer. It comes in a box of individualized packets that you use once a week. You shampoo, use the treatment, shampoo, then condition. The first time I used the Malibu C, I noticed that it said it contained "crystals" on the package, so naturally I was picturing this:

Don't get excited. It's just a powder that you mix with water to create a paste and leave on your hair for five minutes. Because it's kind of a drying type deal, I followed it up with my OG deep conditioner, L'Oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture Nurturing Creme. I've used the treatment twice so far, and it's removed any brassiness from my hair and made my highlights brighter. Score one for the hard water-afflicted bitches.

Gross Dead Skin: Pure Aqua Gel Exfoliator

I read about this Japanese exfoliation product a while back, and I knew that I must try it. Because if you don't love something that exfoliates your face skin like a GD champ, then I don't know what to say to you anymore, quite frankly. Cure Aqua Gel is reportedly Japan's top selling skin care product, or so Amazon tells me, so I really felt like I had no choice but to shell out the 35 bones and try this shit.

The issue that I ran into after getting the bottle is that all of the instructions are in Japanese. So I did a little digging and found out how to use this stuff, and then made a little video showing you what the deal is with Cure.



After using Cure a couple times, I'm pretty ride-or-die on this stuff. It's not cheap, but if you're into exfoliating, it will be your jam. You can cop it from Amazon here.

I'm off to figure out my next beauty dilemma (ft. Kelly Rowland) to harp on like a nagging hen. I love life.





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SMMFS (Save My Mutha F@*&%#$ Skin)

I have not been shy with you about my long, storied past (and present) skin issues. I've had bad skin for 20 dumb years now, and there seem to be no signs of stopping this beastly trainwreck. It's not cute. No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom album could have been named after the topography of my skin. (Or a play on words with Magic Kingdom, but whatever.)

Most of my issues have always surrounded acne, and it's bitch cousin, acne scarring. I've become well-versed in that crap. But since I moved to Phoenix six months ago, I have encountered new and uncharted territory. MY SKIN HAS ALSO BECOME MATURE-LOOKING AND DEHYDRATED in this lack of humidity/sun-heavy ecosystem blah blah. What. The. Eff. Am I going to have to move into a Bio-dome? Luckily, I don't venture out much.

via yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend

So now my skin life revolves around not only acne (which was off the mf-ing chain for my first five months here), but also dry weirdness and boring wrinkles. I've had just about enough of this bullshit, skin gods. Yeezus, save me. 

Kanye must have rubbed the legs of his leather sweatpants together in a certain way for me, because I have found a routine that has made my skin much, much better than it's been since I moved. If you find yourself with any of the laundry list of skin issues that I've listed above, travel along this skin brick road with me to see what's up. (Okay, that was too much and not normal. I've been watching too much Hannibal.)

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream: Intense Hydration 

Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream: Intense Hydation (Kiehl's, $26.50)

When I started noticing the extreme dehydration of my face happening, I reached out to my Kiehl's peeps and begged them for help. They sent me the Kiehl's Ultra Facial Cream Intense Hydration to try, and it has helped so, so much. I really wanted to try this cream because it was "torture-tested" by Kiehl's, in a study in the hottest and driest city in the country...Phoenix. WHERE I LIVE. And what did the test (and my face) find? That 97% of subjects showed a reduction in visible skin dryness by 30% in just 7 days. 

Here's the bottom line on this stuff: it's the perfect night-time cream for me. It doles out a ton of lasting moisture, without being heavy. It's too much for my skin for a daytime deal, because I'm still ALSO OILY. Yes, karma is a bitch. Or something. But if you're a drier skin-type this will be great for you, regardless of what time it says it is on your cuckoo clock.

tarte Maracuja Bronzing Serum

tarte Maracuja Bronzing Serum (Sephora, $47)

Speaking of daytime face stuffs, this is heaven in a shimmery bottle. I've been completely hooked on it, ever since tarte sent it to me with all of those amazing lip glosses a few weeks ago. It's not really the texture of the regular Maracuja Oil, which is also great, but it really dries to more of a matte finish that I can totally wear under makeup/sunscreen items during the day.

But besides having all of that good good junk for your mug in it, there's also a dab o' sunless tanner in the Maracuja Bronzing Serum. Just a little touch of tan. Nothing insane. You can sign my ass up forever and ever.

Clearogen 

Clearogen Acne Treatment Set (Sephora, $39.50)

I won't go on and on about Clearogen again, but I credit this stuff for finally keeping my ridiculously over-the-top breakouts in check. My skin is made of complete bullshit, and this really is the only thing that keeps me from looking like a total monster. 

I love this stuff so much that I cannot go one day without it. If fact, BRB (in AOL IM lingo), I have to go buy some more of the Acne Lotion. I WILL NOT let my face get crazy again.

 Pixi Glow Tonic

pixi Glow Tonic (pixi, $29)

I love a great toner, and this is a total bad b of a toner. It's probably made from finely pressed True Blood fairy wings, but I don't even care. (Okay, okay. It really has stuff like Glycolic Acid, Ginseng and Aloe Vera.) It exfoliates my skin and leaves it soft and buttery. 

Pixi Glow Tonic is like a refreshing alcoholic drink on a hot, disgusting day. But, you know, on your face. With an tiny umbrella. But no maraschino cherries. Those are sick.

Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap

Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap (Cleopatra's Choice, $11)

I bought this soap on a whim one day when I fell down a scary rabbit hole of internet beauty product shopping. One of those deals that you don't even know how you ended up somewhere, and you're just buying random shit that seems like it might work.

Well, weirdly enough, this Adovia Dead Sea Mud Soap happens to do it for me. It's one of those cleansing bars that really feels like it's getting all up in there and kicking gross stuff's ass and taking names. This would be a terrible life choice for people with dry skin, though. Proceed with caution.

Do you have a favorite skin care product? What do you swear by? TELL ME EVERYTHING.



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I'll Pay For That: The 5 Beauty Products That I Straight Up Refuse To Live Without

It's no secret (or it shouldn't be if people are honest) that one of the boss b*tch things about blogging about beauty stuffs is that you get to try products and such for free a lot. I always tell your asses when this happens, and I only talk about sh*t that I legit like and would feel good about telling you to try. I would never suggest something that I think is actual sh*t, because I would feel like a big old bag o' asses doing that. I have sent many, many a email to peeps saying that I won't review/talk about their product because it didn't work for me, or I wouldn't use it on the reg.

That being said, I'm pretty comfortable with using a variety of products at any given time, and just snatching up whatever is in my beauty arsenal. There are a veritable sh*t-ton of shampoos, eyeliners, mascaras, lipsticks, blah, blah, blah, that are all perfectly great, and that I can use without issue and enjoy them all. But, there are a few beauty items that I just simply won't live my life without, and will find a way to own, always. You've probably heard me talk about most of these one billion times because, uh, I tell you everything. So, don't slap my face off or anything if some of this sounds redundant.

#1. Maybelline Expert Eyes Twin Brow & Eye Pencils in Blonde

Go ahead, release all of your "DUHHHHs" into the universe, because I'm always talking about these thangs. But when it comes to eyebrow pencils, I will never, ever, ever let these Maybelline Expert Eyes Brow Pencils in blonde go. And not in a half-assed, hold-on-for-14-more-seconds-Rose kind of way.

These mofos cost around $3, depending on where you buy your mess, but are worth even more to me than Brenda Walsh's b*tchiness. They have actual staying power, aren't waxy, and are a great ashy color that works for any brow color. (Ladies with darker skin tones, or want a bolder brow, top the pencil with a darker brow or matte eyeshadow color.)

#2. Latisse

Before I started using Latisse years ago, I was really scared to try it. I had seen a lot of people that had used it and had semi-crazy spider lashes, and it was just way too much for me. But here's the real deal -- when you first start using Latisse, you use it every night until you get to the lash length that you're all about. After that, you move on to the maintenance phase, which means you just use it a few times a week to keep your lashes that length. So you're in control of how crazy-lashed you look.

Another point of contention when it comes to Latisse? Sh*t's expensive, man. The regular retail price is $120 for a bottle that is supposed to last a month. (P.S. Look for Latisse deals in your local area, you can find it much, much cheaper.) In reality, a bottle typically lasts me at least six. I can stretch that sh*t to the max by the technique that I use to apply it. If you want to know how, email me. I won't post it on the interwebs because it's slightly shady when it comes to sterility and such, and I don't want erry'body getting pink eye. But the friend that taught me this application technique is a medical aesthetician, so it's not wildly inappropriate.

You can also buy a generic version of Latisse, called Careprost, to cut down on costs. I just ordered some online, and it costs about $35 after shipping, although it might be coming from Mars for legal reasons. I'm not going to post a link to purchase it, because it is a prescription product, and I'm no legal effin' eagle...

and I don't want to go to jail and sh*t for recommending something semi-illegal. It's probably not 100% legit, but I'm not sure. Google at your own risk.

#3. Beauty Blender

Because my skin is a big ol' pile of poo, covering imperfections with foundation/concealer ranks high on my list of beauty priorities. I don't really remember my life before using the Beauty Blender, but it was probably also a pile of poo. Okay, enough about poo.

If you aren't that familiar with this little pink egg, it's a reusable makeup sponge that you use while damp. It's kind of pricey (like $20 per sponge), but they really last forever if you wash it on the reg. I've tried other cheaper brands that are of a similar idea, but none stack up to this little b*tch. It applies foundations and concealers evenly, and prevents your makeup from looking cakey. This just generally prevents the look of hot messiness on your mug.

#4. Clarisonic Mia

Listen, I know that Clarisonic products aren't cheap. But I got my Mia as a gift from my mom over three years ago, and homie is still going strong, so it's not a bad investment for $100. The only differences in the MIA and the full-sized (AKA more expensive) Clarisonics are the lack of ability to change the brush speed and you can't use a body brush on the OG Mia. No biggie smalls.

There are drugstore brands of face brushes out there, but I have to admit that I've never used them. The big difference is that the drugstore brushes have spinning heads, while the Clarisonic uses sonic vibrations to cleanse the skin. If you want more science-y deets, you can read more here. All I know is that if I go on an absent-minded bender and forget to use this baby for a period of time my skin is like, "What the eff, guess I'll just break out even more now. You're welcome." My skin is an a-hole, part 40938.

#5. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion

Are you guys sick of me talking about PP yet? TOO BAD. I recommend this product to literally every single person I've ever talked to about makeup, both in real life and on the 'net. It makes your eyeshadow last all damn day, makes colors more vibrant, and doesn't allow those sneaky eyeshadow bastards to crease and get crazy.

Whenever I recommend Primer Potion I have people tell me that it's just too expensive for them, which I totally understand. Spending $20 on something that seems so unimportant in the scheme of things is tough to do. There are a couple of options on saving some dough on PP. You can always buy the travel size for $12. Because you use such a tiny amount, this baby-sized tube should still last you a really long time.

I also frequently find Primer Potion at places like Nordstrom Rack on discount, because Urban Decay changed the packaging a while back. So you can feel free to stock up on the old package types, and hoard the hell out of them. I SHALL NEVER RUN OUT. Muahahaha!

What beauty products do you guys refuse to live your lives without? Spill yo' sh*t!

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Commit Assault And Battery On Your Under-Eye Assailants

There are very few things that can kill your "I'm looking pretty damn fine" swagger quicker than under-eye issues. That is, except maybe these pants that I just witnessed Tiffani (Amber, I refuse to stop saying this) Thiessen wearing on Lifetime Movie Network.

 

Oh, 1995 fashions, what a cruel mistress you were. Almost as hated as the bags, puffiness, dark circles, and a myriad of other drama-starters that were the original focus of this blog. There is not a perfect fix for any of these rude ass situations, unfortunately, but we can greatly improve upon them. Thank you, Yeezus. (He'll just take credit anyway.)

Get Your Natural Remedies On

I LIVE for a great DIY solution to beauty problems. Well, that and wine. And bacon. Luckily, there are a couple of boss b at-home remedies for under-eye circle/bag/puffiness that rivals the Stay Puft dude from Ghostbusters. The first one involves tea bags. Of the tea variety, only. I promised myself that I wouldn't make any kind of inappropriate anatomy joke with this, so shut your yam holes.

After you've brewed yourself a cup of delicious tea something, preferably a concoction with caffeine, like black or green, put the bags in the fridge to cool. You want caffeinated goodness because it helps to reduce puffiness and swelling. As in buh-bye baginess. The coldness from refrigeration also helps with this dreadful bag situation. Now all that remains to be done is to lie back with the bags on your eyes for ten minutes or so. HOLY TRASH BOX, THAT WAS SO HARD TO KEEP IT TOGETHER AND BE AN ACTUAL ADULT. So many dirty opportunities wasted. I hope you're happy, mom.

Fresh out of tea bags? (Not a word!) Cucumber slices are also a great option to de-puff. Same deal applies -- cold cucumber slices, putting them on your peepers for ten minutes. Your swollen soul-windows are on their way to being history.

Carrying a Conceal(er)ed Weapon

I'm pretty sure that a great concealer could be the eighth Wonder of the World, and I've been using this Koh Gen Do Liquid Treatment Concealer (Sephora, $48) on the daily from the moment they sent it to me. It's not super heavy, but it's moisturizing as a mofo. It also has great stuff like brightening properties and jojoba and shea butter. My photography skills are as lame as they get, so please ignore them, but this stuff is the new Supreme of my concealer coven.

No matter your concealer choice, the best way to blend away your under-eye shadows is with a firm (but also lenient) ring finger application. Pat the concealer on the area from the inner corner of your eye, while blending out and down toward your cheekbone. If you have really, really dark circles, use a concealer with a more yellow tone -- it cuts those hard-to-hide blue-ish hues more.

The (Eye) Cream Machine

Ugh, eye area, why must you be so delicate and crows' feet prone? And why do I have to be so into expensive sh*t? My favorite eye serum is Obagi's ELASTIderm Eye Complete Complex Serum (Skinstore, $93.60), because it doesn't make me breakout, and it's moisturizing without being heavy. But, it costs roughly three arms and seven legs, so I can only get this stuff on very rare occasions. 

A close second for me is Glytone Anti-Aging Eye Cream (Amazon, $29.83), which is more affordable and still has all those cat's pajama-esque ingredients like caffeine (remember that?) and vitamins, or whatever. Whatever you end up using, just use something. It'll keep your crinkly eye issues at bay for longer, so don't skip that mess.

This eye care stuff is serious business. Tread lightly.

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New Badass Skin Care Line Alert -- Drunk Elephant

 First off, you can't even hate on a brand that has "drunk" in its name.

 It's effin' impossible.  Here's the deal on this COMING OUT TODAY brand -- it's not some cheap ass drugstore skin care, but it's super legit.

drunk elephant virgin marula luxury face oil, $72

Here's a little about the line from the founder, Tiffany, who is pretty much my opposite (AKA really nice and smart):

The name Drunk Elephant is rooted in a myth that says that elephants love to eat the fruit that has fallen from the Marula trees. Once eaten, fermentation occurs inside their very large tummies and the elephants become drunk!

Virgin Marula oil, straight from the "pip", can be found throughout our line. It is an oil that I believe is superior to ANY I’ve tried due to the high content of fatty acids and antioxidants. It soaks right in. I’m in love with it. The products are all safe, completely unscented and non-irritating. I hand-picked almost every ingredient in this line. There is no doubt about it, Drunk Elephant was developed with lots of care and love and a large dose of determination.

Drunk Elephant Skin Care represents what I would use on my own skin and what really works for me. It is safe, minimal, effective, and non-toxic. I know I’ll be looking no further for the perfect skin care routine–for I have finally found it. I hope you will love the Drunk Elephant system; finding yourself looking forward to the ease of using it every day, getting real results and not wanting to be without it.

Bottom line, here's the badassery regarding this line -- there's no bullsh*t in it. I'm talking no sulfates, parabens, fragrance, yada yada. You can see the entire long ass list of grossness that's been blacklisted here.

I was lucky enough sample this line, and my favorites are the C-Firma Day Serum, TLC Framboos Glycolic Night Serum, and the Virgin Marula Luxury Face Oil. I'm not doing a real and proper review on these b's yet, because I haven't been using them long enough, but I wanted to bring the newness to your attention so you could get that sh*t hot off the presses. 

Here's another bonus: For a sneak preview of these goodies in temporary packaging, you can get 15% off of everything by using the code SNEAKPEEK until they're gone. The REAL REAL isn't launched until September, so scoop this sh*t up while the gettin' is good, man. 

 

 

You can chiggidy check all the Drunk Elephant products here.

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