Gross Beauty Probs, Quit Killing My Vibe.

It's always something with me, man. I can't just let shit be. I'm constantly stressing myself out over SOMETHING beauty-related. My current freak out is getting rid of all things gross on my body. More specifically, dead face skin and hard water hair distgusting-ness.

After massive amounts of research (okay, googling), I found two products that pretty much slayed these annoying issues. So now I can be on to the next one. Great.

Hard Water Hair: Malibu Hard Water Treatment

I really got the idea of how shitty my water is stuck in my brain wrinkles after I started using Keracolor Purify Plus. I began obsessing over the hard water stains on my shower door that I just couldn't get off and thinking, "IF THE WATER IS DOING THIS TO GLASS, WHAT THE EFF IS IT DOING TO MY HAIR???" So I started researching about how to rid hair of hard water deposits, which can eff your hair game up MAJOR.

That's when I came across the Malibu C Hard Water Weekly Demineralizer. It comes in a box of individualized packets that you use once a week. You shampoo, use the treatment, shampoo, then condition. The first time I used the Malibu C, I noticed that it said it contained "crystals" on the package, so naturally I was picturing this:

Don't get excited. It's just a powder that you mix with water to create a paste and leave on your hair for five minutes. Because it's kind of a drying type deal, I followed it up with my OG deep conditioner, L'Oreal Nature's Therapy Mega Moisture Nurturing Creme. I've used the treatment twice so far, and it's removed any brassiness from my hair and made my highlights brighter. Score one for the hard water-afflicted bitches.

Gross Dead Skin: Pure Aqua Gel Exfoliator

I read about this Japanese exfoliation product a while back, and I knew that I must try it. Because if you don't love something that exfoliates your face skin like a GD champ, then I don't know what to say to you anymore, quite frankly. Cure Aqua Gel is reportedly Japan's top selling skin care product, or so Amazon tells me, so I really felt like I had no choice but to shell out the 35 bones and try this shit.

The issue that I ran into after getting the bottle is that all of the instructions are in Japanese. So I did a little digging and found out how to use this stuff, and then made a little video showing you what the deal is with Cure.



After using Cure a couple times, I'm pretty ride-or-die on this stuff. It's not cheap, but if you're into exfoliating, it will be your jam. You can cop it from Amazon here.

I'm off to figure out my next beauty dilemma (ft. Kelly Rowland) to harp on like a nagging hen. I love life.





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BEAUTY EMERGENCY: Desert Time, And The Livin' Ain't Easy

I came to a sudden realization the other day: I legit live in the desert. I was riding ATVs with my family, who were visiting, and as I was sitting there, covered in effin' dust from head to toe, it hit me like a ton of cacti. I LIVE IN A DESERT, FOR REAL. For real, for real.

I didn't really think that my (beauty) life would be that different coming to Arizona from Florida. I mean they're both hot, right? What a damn fool. I've had to switch up my beauty game A LOT to make up for this desert-dwelling life that I'm currently living. If you're a denizen of the badlands (or just need to get your hydration station on) keep reading, and we'll make it through this madness together.

Drop It Like It's Hot (BECAUSE IT IS)

"MYYYY EYEZZZ," is typically how my balls (eye type) feel when I'm just existing in this crazy, low-humidity mecca. So eye drops are a mega mf-ing factor in my current beauty routine. And, of course, my high maintenance ass can't just have some run-of-the mill eye drops for basic b*tches. I like a little something that burns a bit, like getting slapped in the eyeballs by a miniature telenovela star wearing black satin elbow-length gloves. But, you know, still gets the red out.

That's where cooling eye drops come in. I've always liked Rhoto Cool Eye Drops for my eyeball burning and brightening needs, but after going to four stores searching for them and coming up empty-handed, I googled and found out that they have been temporarily recalled. So I found the next best thing in Clear eyes Cooling Comfort Redness Relief, which I found to be essentially the same. They burn like hell, and it feels so good.

Moisturize Every-damn-thang

Oh, hey, have I mentioned it's dry in this b*tch? I have hordes of ulta-moisturizing prods that I've accumulated over the years, but I've never really had much use for them, due to my horrible oily skin. But guess what? How the tables have turned...Not only am I still dealing with my glorious adult acne, but I've also started getting flaky, dry skin. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?

So to cope with this latest turn of event, I've found an arsenal of products to keep my mug lubed to the max. (Gross.) For my nightly moisturizing needs, I am really enjoying the deep moisturizing benefits of CLINIQUE Moisture Surge Intense For Very Dry To Dry Combination Skin. It's oil-free and kind of like a gel-type texture, so I don't feel like I've been pied in the face with a heavy cream pie after applying it.

I really need to use a heavier eye cream here, too, and I'm into RoC Multi-Correxion Lift Anti-Gravity Night Cream for that. It supposedly "lifts" your eye area, which I don't know about all of that sorcery, but it's really moisturizing and soaks in nicely. I don't feel like the foot of a crow has firmly imprinted itself upon my eyes, so, so far it's aces.

When it comes to that easier-to-dry-out-than-beef-jerky-in-a-food-dehydrator lip area, I'm full-on obsessed with Korres Lip Butter in Guava. It's straight heavenly, yo. It's buttery (duh), tastes really good, and it doesn't feel oily or weird. Pretty much, it makes me feel like I have rich lady lips.

Put a Tan (and Some SPF) On It

I'm mos def an indoor cat, which leads to my pallid skin tone and dire need for sunless tanner-tinged lotions. Also, the sun is strong and bright as a mofo here, so daily SPF is a must for when I'm walking to the mailbox, or something. This Jergens Natural Glow & Protect Daily Moisturizer with SPF 20 covers all of those necessary bases, and is easy as sh*t to use -- you just slap it on like your garden variety bod lotion and keep it moving to twitter stalking people, or whatever your daily life entails.

Nude-y Show Nails

I'm pretty much living in a big ass dusty ass dust bowl, and that does NOT bode well in the mani department. Goth nails in shades of black and deep burgundy (my go-to favorites) will be covered in dust in, like, 3.47 seconds, so picking a nude-ish shades like Deborah Lippmann's Human Nature or Floss Gloss' Tanlines is a boss b*tch decision. Plus, you'll have total mannequin hands. Everyone wins.

Disclaimer: Some of these items were given to me as press samples, and some were purchased by my broke ass. Pin It