Tuesday, October 20, 2015

A Farewell To The Ridiculous: Goodbye, America's Next Top Model



By now, I'm sure you've heard the tragic national news: America's Next Top Model is coming to an end.


Don't worry, I will be saying all of the appropriate goodbyes here, where we can have time to mourn the kookiest-ass moments ever seen on reality TV. And I'm not being hyperbolic by throwing out the term kooky. THIS SHIT IS KOOKY.




This actual shit show (hate that I love you) is in its TWENTY-MF-ing-SECOND SEASON, which just seems excessive and unnecessary. It's high time for a goodbye, even though it's tough.


Will we miss Ty Ty? Yeah, sure, whatever. But I think we know our hearts will really have a hole the exact same size as one Miss J. Alexander in a few short months.


Where will we get our much needed weekly dose of glamour? Courtney Stodden?


She can't even get on this level. No one can.

I'll also miss the never ending crop of beautiful weirdos the producers keep inexplicably finding year after year.


I do know.


Stop it.


Stop it, the sequel.


We feel you.


Basically, how I feel about this whole show, which I have spent 95829850439 hours of my life watching.


You mean you're kooky and you're kooky?


I don't have a problem with this one.

And to be fair, Tyra has had her own moments of (mostly unintentional) entertainment.


Babies are vastly overrated. Modeling a cardigan in a Sears catalog is not.


This...cannot be real. Please let this be real.

This is the end of the road, Ty Ty. Pack your bags and return home.


Goodnight, moon.









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