Friday, May 3, 2013

How to Use Boring Household Stuff to Up Your Beauty Game

What did you b faces do today? I put Walmart brand Pepto-Bismol all up on my grill. And it looked like this --

What? That's what my face always looks like. Like a beautiful angel. Or like Buster from Arrested Development.

Whatever, same sh*t. But the realness to this is WHY I had Pepto on muh face. You can use it as a face mask for oily skin, to de-gunk and de-grease that mess. I left it on for like 10 or 15 minutes, and after I rinsed my face, that b felt smooth and not oily at all. I guess it makes sense -- it gets rid of the greasy grossies in your tummy, so why wouldn't it work on your mug? Brings a whole new meaning to "Smooth move, ex-lax." (Bleh, that was awful and pun-y. Don't worry, I hate myself.) There are scientific reasons to why this works on your face, but they were too boring to read and I was over it. Word of warning: If you have dry or sensitive skin, don't try this. Oily b's only.

Oh hey, stock file photo. I've been using toothpaste in for non-tooth purposes for 20 years, because I'm old. And old people do things for over 20 years, and then tell you about it. Toothpaste is great for drying up zits, and it's (obviously) super old school. Put this ish on individual bumps (not all over your face) to dry them up over night. Here's the catch: You have to use white toothpaste. (I know, it's racist and rude.) I don't know why this is, it just is.

pic via pandawhale
 Like Lindsay Lohan being a delightful hot mess, it's just a fact of life.

Speaking of Lilo (I kid, I kid!), this delightful white powder (baking soda) is pretty much a beauty genie. If you add baking soda to pretty much anything, it becomes more clarifying and a stronger cleanser. I add it to mud/clay face masks to really get into my pores. You can add it to your facial cleanser (every now and then -- don't get effing crazy) for deep cleansing. I really love it to make any shampoo a clarifying shampoo. Just put a little in your hand, add the shamps, and lather your ish.

That's it, yo. Yeah, science! Just don't start improvising, and using BLEACH bleach as hair dye, or whatever. And definitely don't do this crap.

What. Is. Wrong. With. Your. Brain?

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