Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Beauty Ish I Learned from Watching Seinfeld.

I really love Seinfeld. Even though it's so effing old at this point, I can still watch episode after episode endlessly. And I really feel like it's still relevant today, even though the show was totally and completely in the 90's.


Sigh. I'm an old ass b -- I'm completely aware. I've even garnered some beauty tips from watching the show, which is a completely strange occurrence. Here are some of them, gathered up and served hotter than the coffee that scalded Kramer's crotch.

Using unconventional beauty products is okay.

I actually use coconut oil as my body lotion every day, so I totally feel Kramer on this one. But, beware baking yourself, as he did later in the episode.

Smoking is bad as eff for your looks.

I know that my ass (face) doesn't want to look like a pruned up mofo. Don't smoke people. It's not cute.

Sometimes you need a little (artificial) beauty help.

Listen, there ain't a THANG wrong with utilizing a little fake hair. George's toupee wasn't looking all that glamorous, but do what you gotta do, guys.

Don't be afraid to work what you've got.

Errrrm, this is pretty self explanatory. WERK. THAT. ISH. Sometimes it just gets the job done.

Water pressure is really important.

Bad water pressure can totally eff up your game, man. Don't drool on me, shower, and expect me to be happy about that sh*t.

Do your asses ever pick up beauty tips from scripted TV shows? Andy Griffith or some sh*t? Share your wisdoms!

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