Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The Britney Spears "Pretty Girls" Music Video Is Here (Oh, and Wiggy Gardenia Is In It, Too)



Okay, so Wiggy Gardenia is actually my dog's stage name. Iggy Azalea is the one on this track, but I think Wiggy would have been a solid choice. Plus, she has a better acting range than Iggs.


We need to get real about this video. Brit Brit's weave situation changes THREE TIMES without so much as one outfit switch. Who in eff's sake was wig wrangling on this set? (My money is on either Jayden James or Daddy Spears.)


P.S. If that shot on the left isn't the cover of a late-'90s porn video, I know nothing about anything. 

I'm actually kind of into the Earth Girls are Easy vibe of the whole thing, but JESUS GOD, what are these speaking parts? No one should be talking in this shit. No one. Not even you, lavender lipstick and earrings/bang deal girl. No one.


But especially not Iggy. Her whole, "I can turteelaaay fux it fur yeeeeew," and also the, "Laht me call yewr fran," made my brain quit this bitch and fall out of my ear hole. I first typed whole, so you know that it's true. She sounds like a German person doing an impression of an Australian person doing a Valley Girl accent.

On a positive note, at least Brit was excited for her alien abduction.


Take me, too, aliens. Take me, too.





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