SLAY-ney Spears Is Still Sexy, And Don't You Forget It

Britney Spears last night at the 2015 Teen Choice Awards! pic.twitter.com/sp7sRUhU7w

— BritneyArmy (@SlaveForUBrit) August 17, 2015

Just in case you were of the mindset that Mizz Britney Spears was done with being a sexpot, YOU ARE COMPLETELY WRONG.

Soak in all of this moment. The dress! The typical Britney-esque "I have no idea how to pose" pose! That she's winning a GD FASHION AWARD! What a choker-wearing card. That's my girl.

.@BritneySpears can hold up more than that #TeenChoice surfboard, thanks to major yoga skills: http://t.co/7DHhDb7pR4 pic.twitter.com/q7czGBvaPD

— Access Hollywood (@accesshollywood) August 17, 2015

In this photo, it's as if she's saying, "If y'all ever doubted my cat eye-wearing abilities, you are a MF-ing fool. A fool, I say!"

Think @ratliffR5 knew he was photobombing @britneyspears in this #TeenChoiceAwards pic? http://t.co/C9CblFgrrB pic.twitter.com/I68GppH3Ea

— TWIST magazine (@twistmag) August 17, 2015

And here, she's all, "Someone come get this child and tell her to stop staring at me. She's killing my hair vibe." Everyone knows that laser beams from the eyeballs of children make one's hair fall flat.

P.S. Am I supposed to know the identity of any of those humans in the background? Ol' cactus blouse looks like Giovanni Ribisi's little cousin. I'm too old for this shit.

P.P.S. What the hell is a Twist magazine? I need a nap and a fiber supplement to get through this life.

P.P.P.S. Whoever spilled that bottle of water under Brit Brit's chair shall pay. SHALL PAY, I TELL YOU.












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Your New Ringtone: "Bubblegum," The Weekend Jam Of Your Dreams

Are you v, v into bubblegum? That's a promising start. What's your particular poison? Straw-bury? Cola? Or are you not super picky, and are just more concerned with "poping" bubbles on the street?

Regardless of your preferences, this 2010-Bieber-haired youngster has you covered.

Maybe I'm just an old, but I don't really understand what this song it all about. "Don't eat me, or I might get stuck," this young boy croons, with legs akimbo and stationary arms. So he is the metaphorical bubblegum? Okay. Is this all a weird metaphor? What is life?

Then we have this sweet little barrette-d child (Roseanne, I presume?), who is all:

"I crave the gum, it makes me feel alive." Uh, what? Is this a Hunter S. Thompson book or a kids' music video? She then holds up a finger gun. This shit is getting dark.

Kids today, I don't understand you.

I need a Saltine, a Werther's, and a nap.




via reddit

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