What the Eff Kind of Michael's Flower Section Explosion Outfit is This, Ke$$$$ha?

via eonline

The worst thing about this nonsense, for me, isn't even the silk flower sh* show. It's those terrible, three times shinier than a Hooter's girl pantyhose. Holy balls, those things are atrocious. But on the real, gluing rejected faux flower petals about your crotchal region does not an outfit make. And I'm pretty effin' open as to what constitutes clothes. If Ke$h didn't create this outfit herself with a glue gun and leftover materials from a few discarded Bridezillas bridesmaids' bouquets, then homegirl should demand a hefty refund to her PayPal account. Because that Etsy picture she ordered this mess  from did NOT represent the real outfit well, obviously.

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Where's My Dirty B, and Who is This Imposter?!?

pic via daily mail

This is ALLEGEDLY a picture of Ke$ha, but I'm calling shenanigans on that mess. I mean, her lady flower is covered up with fabric that isn't made from fishnet! She's wearing a BUTTONED UP COLLAR! HER HAIR IS FRESHLY LAUNDERED! She has an effin' blow out. No, this is not Ke$ha. This isn't even Kesha. I think that this is Stephanie Pratt from The Hills.

AmIright? Someone hurry and get Ke$ha some glitter before this ish gets out of hand. Is there a glitter and dirt shortage right now? Maybe that would explain it. I officially look 250% dirtier than Ke$ha right now. What is happening???



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