How To Look Like A Hot B*tch In Pictures

I don't give an eff if you're taking a selfie (bleh with that word, I'm sorry) or going to be on the cover of Homegirl Weekly, there are some basic rules to keep from looking like a basic b*tch.

Get your skin tone in check. I told you guys a couple weeks ago that one the number one killers to a sexy ass picture is having your face color be "off." There are a few culprits here: sunscreen, translucent powders, and foundation that doesn't match your face.

You may have seen this picture of Miley floating around the interwebs this week, with people thinking that she licked off her makeup with her rogue tongue, but I'm of the camp thinking it's more a translucent powder tragedy. (P.S. Is there a baby safety pin involved above?) Translucent powders often have an ingredient that makes lights (like a flash) reflect back and create a white look. Not f*cking cute.

If you are getting whatever deal photo taken, skip the powder finish and use another finishing option like the Mally Beauty Poreless Face Defender. You'll keep your makeup on your face without having at least this one of Miley's issues.

Figure out your best side. Have you ever noticed how famous b*tches always seem to take photographs from the same angle over and over? That's because those homies know which side is their "hot side."

this is how i'll be on the cover of vogue next month

The easiest way to find your good side is to grab a sheet of printer/letter/prison love note paper and hold it up, covering half of your face, while looking in the mirror. Then move it over to the other side, and check that sh*t. Your good side is the one that looks more lifted and symmetrical. That's the side that you should angle toward the camera, and also the side on which you should part your mop.

Don't skimp on eyeliner and blush, even if you don't usually wear it. NOTHING washes out your damn face more than a camera flash. It's like washing your face with bleach.

To combat that dumb effery, be heavier handed with your makeup application than you typically would, especially with eyeliner and blush or bronzer. Apply the amount you would like to appear to be wearing, then PUT SOME MORE ON. If you don't typically wear that stuff, put it on honey bun, or risk looking like this.

Except sleepier, and with less emphasis on the eyes. Now get to work, b*tch.










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