BREAKING NEWS: Paris Hilton Forgets What Year It Is; Still Trying To Make The Music Thing Happen

WARNING: P uses her baby voice to breathe the f-word (and Lil' Wayne's must-need-the-money's ass says it a couple times, too) in this joint, just in case you're watching this in court or something.



Wait. Am I on a spaceship that is forcing me to relive circa 2003? If so, let my ass off, you alien dicks, because I can't live through that sh*t again. You know what else I can't handle? A mothereffing resurgence of Paris Hilton in pop culture and/or music. PP Face and I are the same age, so her ass should know -- WE ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS BULLSH*T, HOMIE.

This whole thing looks and sounds exactly like something from a Real Housewife. She and Luann de Lesseps must have gone halfsies on an autotuner and she has current custody. P.S. When your autotune is still out-of-tune, hang up your bedazzled monokini, sister.

But you know who I'm really pissed at? Lil' Wayne. Sir, you should f*cking know better than to encourage this mess. Are there tough times in the Wayne abode? Are you being forced into extreme couponing situations? I would rather you pick up some extra shifts at a mall flat iron kiosk than work on a Paris Hilton song, pal. I expected more from you, Lil'.

I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. Now, go to your damn room.




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