Miley Cyrus Show's Off Fall's Biggest Trends: Ice Cream Nips And Pill Glasses

pic via miley's instagram

"Oh, hey, guys. I don't really get why everybody is all up on me about being over the top, and shit. I'm just being Miley. HAHAHHA. Remember that? But f'real, what's the big ol' deal about letting your boobs free? And wearing DIY pill googles? At night? And having a worrisome glitter-rash? Pshhaw, get a life, y'all. IT AIN'T NO THING." - Miley***

***Not a direct MiCy quote, so don't be pinning that crap to your inspirational Pinterest board (bored?), or whatever.

Listen, I actually can't find any effs to rub together that Miley is running around sans turtleneck. Or even dickie. Whatever. If you want to wear food-centric pasties until your nips quit that bitch, I really don't care. It's your silly-ass life.

But when homie posted this picture, I really COULD NOT cosign on the outlandish behavior.

via instagram

In case you have a case of the I-can't-see-upside-downs, it says "Punk's Not Dead" with a picture of Britney Spears shaving her head.

I WILL HIDE YOUR ARTS AND CRAFTS SUPPLIES. Do not mess with my Brit Brit. Meanwhile...



Brit's killing us softly with ankle socks.

 

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Justin Bieber Shows Off His Ta Tas And Grabs His Crotch On Rolling Stone, Because He's A Bad Boy

But is it for life? Diddy wants to know. If so, lawsuit's in the mail.

via rolling stone

Well, well. Looky what we have here. The Biebs on the cover of Rolling Stone, with nips ablaze and a dumb dumb expression pasted on his mug. I haven't read this write-up, but I kind of hope that it's just a blank page that says, "He's going through his terrible twos." End of article.

Other possibilities? He had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep in his 'big boy' bed.

No one's been reading him bedtime stories.

He had too much Language Arts homework to finish and couldn't watch cartoons.

He needs his ba ba.

He's been eating too much candy and his tummy hurts.

Any other theories?



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Zach Galifianakis is Skinny; Spanks Justin Bieber.

I don't know, you guys. I'm not sure that I can get down with this new waifish Zachy G. It just feels weird to me.

But you know what doesn't feel weird to me? Baby Biebs being spanked (in a completely nonsexual manner) with a belt.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Justin Bieber from Justin Bieber

Bieber's blouse is an inch or two and a stiff tug away from Flashdance territory.

Hot. Also, I will not rest until JB stops trying to act in ANYTHING. It's bad. Real bad.

I see you, Bieber.







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HAHA of the Day: Reese Witherspoon's Arrest Video

I didn't cover it when I heard that Reese Witherspoon's ass got arrested for being annoying, or whatever, the other day because I don't really give a rat's b hole. BUT, I will post the dash cam video that TMZ posted because homegirl is acting uber uppity and hilarious. Sh*t's better than Four Christmases.



Next time, I just really hope she says this --



It would be more appropriate. And if you couldn't de-screech Reese's speech enough to understand what she was saying, here are some quotes from TMZ:

Reese: "Do you know my name sir?"
Officer: "Don't need to know."
Reese "You don't NEED to know my name?"
Officer: "Not quite yet."
Reese: "YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT WHO I AM!"

Reese: "I have done nothing against the law."
Officer: "Yes you did, you didn't obey my orders."
Reese: "I HAVE TO OBEY YOUR ORDERS??"

Reese: "I'm now being arrested and handcuffed??"

Reese: "I'm an American citizen ... I'm allowed to stand on American ground."

Reese: "You better not arrest me."

Reese: "I'm being anti-American?"
Officer: "Yes, please sit down."
Reese: "Wow!"

Reese: "You're harassing me as an American citizen"

HAHAHAHA! I smell a hit one woman show on Broadway. 

B needs to suck on a Werther's and take a damn seat. I am not that into you, Reese Witherspoon.

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