In honor of all of the hot sessiness that makes up the True Blood lineup, I have scoured the interwebs via my AOL dial-up connection ("Mom! Don't pick up the phone! I'm in a chat room!") to find the most awkward pictures I can find of those hot, hot w's.
First up, Eric. Or Alexander Skarsgard, if you want to be all technical and ish. Today's Skarsy is a tall parfait of Nordic fro-yo sexiness, but check this out:
Did he have a former career as a Nick Carter impersonator? Is that a skinny pink belt in the picture on the right? Are those a pink pair of women's Izod pants on the right?
Next is the rugged hotness that is Alcide. Joe Manganiello is like a bear skin rug made of muscles, slightly dirty hair, and abs now, but here he is in high school:
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| Pic via Celeb Buzz |
The new edition (Sit down, Bobby Brown, I wasn't talking about your ass.) to the show is Chris Meloni as some HBIC. I've always thought Chris was sprinkled with a special sauce of gruff and sexy. But here he is roughly 93842048 years ago:
Was he on Eight is Enough? Or is that just my mom's haircut from circa 1981? I would post a picture of that mess, but I'm sure she doesn't want to be associated with my ass.
And just for a little more awkwardness:
I don't know what this is, but it is just a whole big ol' bag of wrong that has been done to this man.
Jason Stackhouse, or Ryan Kwanten if you must, is a ripped little elf. But there are some unfortunate pictures of this hot little man. Exhibit A:
What exactly is this? (Besides awkward?)
And this is just shades of 98 Degrees of no.
Sam (on TB and birth certificate) is a little take it or leave for me in the man department, but maybe some of you have a thing for him. I personally think he body doubles for Britney Spears' boyfriend, but whatevs.
Sigh. I guess I have to mention my nemesis, Bill. I'm sure some people like stiff, wooden dudes. (Don't be gross.)
Seriously, did Stephen Moyer have a face (and hair) transplant with Chris Isaak? That ish cray.
And I can't leave out Andy Bellefleur. I know it's not conventional, but I find Sheriff Andy attractive for some reason. Don't judge me, Bill lovers!
Andy's driver's license reads "Chris Bauer," so that's what I googled to find weird pictures of Sheriff Andy. This is what I found:
Obvs (hopefully), this is a different Chris Bauer. Yet, still just as sexual. (Scruffy, watery eyed gingers need love, too!)
Here's a picture of the "real" Chris Bauer, looking like a real Baberaham Lincoln. (Thanks, Wayne's World for all of my comedic lines.)
Okay, I'm finished humiliating hot dudes. I'm like a boring, unsexy, virtual dominatrix.
See! Celebrities are just like us! (No they aren't.) They have horrible, awkward pictures from their past, too! (Regular people's -- like us -- are much, much worse.) Now let's all tune in tomorrow and catch the current hotness of the True Blood cast to wash this gross taste from our mouths.
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