I Have Been Living a Lie...And You're Going to Hate Me!

I have totally been hiding something from you guys, and it is HIGH time that my ol' shady ass comes clean. (Why does that sound gross for some reason?)

Time for my confession...

I have been wearing Toms. AND I LOVE THEM. I know, I know. We talked about this. And you all gave me a big ass "NAY" over it.  You don't even know me anymore, do you?

Just hear me out for a minute. It's not my fault. I blame Whole Foods. I was shopping for fun stuff like kale and wheatgrass (See, I'm totally in the Toms demographic!), and I came upon the Toms section at Whole Foods (Yes, that exists, weirdly enough.). I always linger there for a moment, and this time there was a pair for 50% off! I was all, "What the eff. When in Rome..." and snatched them up.

That was it for me. After the initial breaking in (one day of semi-discomfort), I felt like this:



It was like angels were carrying my feet upon their feathery wings!!! (Note: Not AS comfortable as that, but pretty, pretty close.) And I actually found them to be cute! I know, what the eff? Am I a step away from wearing the devil's handmaidens? AKA these:

If you said "Yes," you better quit playin' b. Ain't happening. Sidenote: Crocs, please stop trying to be cute. Just accept that you are the 2000's version of a water shoe/Teva sandal-with-socks hybrid and call it a day.

NO. STOP THE INSANITY.

You can trust that I will never cross over to THAT dark side.

See! I'm still me! Don't hate me...I'm still a girly heels girl at heart. I just have a semi-split hippie personality (With extra dirtiness!).

I'm just being Miley! (I hate myself.)



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Who's Ready for Transition?

I'm sick of sweating my ass crack off, boob sweat, upper lip sweat. All that ish. I'm ready for a season change. I'm always on board for transitional pieces. Anything that will bring me on in to the following season is great, because I'm impatient as a mofo. I really wanted some motorcycley/bad ass b*tch boots. So I tried these Steve Maddens on.

They were super soft and flopped down just like I wanted. One problem. I looked like a damn bowling ball. Stumpy stump stump stumpsville. It was a hot ass mess. I have to say, I have given up on paying like $200 for shoes that make me look like sh*t.

So instead I got these Vince Camutos.

I'm in love, you guys. They feel like friggin' butter. My legs don't look (as) stumpy. Cute with skinnies, skirts, dresses, yadda yadda.

And, yes, I have already been wearing them even though it 5 million degrees outside. I don't give an eff.

What are you guys excited about wearing for Fall? Next on my list is a cape/poncho!

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You need this in your life (closet).

I have stumpy legs. Truth. If there was a Stumpfest 2011, my legs would be the headlining act. And knowing this, I have to go out of my way to try to elooooongate these pegs. I might get my bones stretched if it wasn't such a pain in the ass, so until that becomes a little easier, I have the next best thing. NUDE. HEELS. I always have to have a pair of nude, peep-toe heels in my closet. Not convinced? Okay...


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