This is a Completely Pointless Post. I Just Wanted to Share My Weirdness.

I came to a realization today of who I want to be in life.

I saw one of these old timey weird bicycle things on TV, and after googling, found out they are called a penny farthing. (That's some fancy ass ish. I can't get enough.) So, I want to ride one of these around while wearing a sexy tuxedo and top hat like this:

Babette (I want that name, too) from Boardwalk Empire.

And these Victotian-style buttony boots:

And of course a monocle (I kind of want that most):

This is from a place called "Gentleman's Emporium." Are you dying?

So that will be my outfit of choice as I ride around on my penny farthing and blow bubbles from my bubble pipe made from the world's finest mahogany. And I will also bid people "Good Day" in anger, while occasionally slapping b's across the face with my white gloves with tiny buttons on them. (Why were there so many tiny buttons in the early 1900's?)

What do you guys want to be when you grow up?

P.S. I say "Good day" to you sir! I say "Good day!" (Just practicing for life.)

P.P.S. I also with I could grow a twisty, maniacal moustache.

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We've Been Waiting a Month for THIS?!?!

The Donny Clay Show with Courtney Stodden from Jason Alexander

I told you guys a while back that C Stodd was making a Funny or Die video. Weeeell, looky here. It sucks. And I really like Jason Alexander (not the Britney Spears ex-husband one). Remember when George Costanza blamed 'shrinkage'? Awesome. But this? No.

P.S. I'm holding myself back from making a "No soup for you!" reference, because I do have a modicum of dignity. (No I don't.)

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Okay, I'm Developing a Theory...

Pic via Radar Online

Radar Online posted this picture of America's sweetheart (in my mind) stepping out to get coffee in her casual finest. Isn't this what you guys wear to pick up coffee? A pushup bra with clear bra straps, a tube top, hot pants and an arm cuff? And I usually tease and Aqua Net my hair, while sporting a supposed "naked face." Read this quote given to Radar from mama Stodden, and TRY not to feel gross. I dare you:

“Courtney looks the most beautiful when she steps out of the shower soaking wet."

Cue the dry heaves. So here's my theory. I think Courtney Stodden is an alien time traveler. She thinks that she's in 1994 (That's the year she studied on her spaceship before landing on Earth.), so to her she looks totes the norm. Think about it! It doesn't not NOT make sense, right? This coming from the b that has watched approximately 89 episodes of Twilight Zone today.

I don't care why or how she arrived in my life, I just hope she never leaves. 

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