Tuesday, November 6, 2012

GUUUUUURL of the Day: Nail Polish for the Manly Meeens

pic via alpahanail.com seriously, go look at it
No, this isn't a photo still from a low rent Cinemax vampire-themed soft core porn movie. It's a picture from Alpha Nail, which is nail polish made for super bro-type dudes. Now let me say this -- I am 100% for gender equality. If you are a dude, and you're into nail polish, awesome. I can suggest some great ones for you. But this has a very, a-hem, douchey feel to the details. From the website:

It is a statement... a proclamation of the inner attitude of the alpha. It is about having the confidence that says ‘I am my own man, and will decide the rules for how I live my life according to how I see fit.

For those of you with a flair for style, our colors are so sick Dr. House can’t fix them. The revolutionary matte collection provides an uber-masculine and fashion forward satin finish, and our metallics shine like candy paint in the summer time. What’s more, our unique click pen applicator does away with those dainty little brushes and girly nail polish containers. Just click, paint, put the cap on, and its ready to go for another round. 

Oh, my. I just wanted to punch myself in the face reading that. And then there's this:

via alphanail.com
Your eyes are not deceiving you. That is, in fact, THE SHOCKER on this handy little guide of "How to Alpha Nail." Gross. I want to bleach my eyeballs.

pic via buzzfeed
I will say that I like matte nail polish, so maybe I'll hide my lady bits and get some to try for myself. Too bad I'm not uber-masculine. Bleh.

P.S. Thanks to Abby for emailing this mess to me. If you spot a guuuuuuurl out there, email me at shannon@glossanddirt.com.

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