This Is Not A Drill: JAMES FRANCO IS REMAKING 'MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH DANGER'

In the best thing you've ever heard in your life news (no, Koala Yummies aren't coming back), Vulture has just reported that the possible/questionable/it's-just-a-vibe-I-get douche James Franco will be remaking everyone on the planet's favorite movie, Mother, May I Sleep With Danger. Merry Christmas, Happy (belated) Hanukkah, and Happy (early) Kwanzaa.

In even better news, TORI SPELLING MIGHT BE PLAYING THE MOTHER.

This person.

You know, this human being.

The person that's always keeping it 100 on the streets. Totally real. (Tor-tally Real?™)

Just stays keeping it all the way real.

Speaking of real talk, I have this shirt. Bye forever. Or until MMISWD reboot is presented to my eyeballs.

Be honest -- is today the most exciting day of your life? If you say no, I don't even know you.








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Allure Insiders Outrageous Beauty: Cosmetic Acupuncture

I hate needles, man. Unless they are filled with amazing Botulinum toxin (which I sadly haven't gotten in the past couple years), I generally like to stay the hell away from them. So when I heard that I would have SEVERAL needles stuck into my face AT THE SAME TIME and they would all just be hanging out there for a hot-ass minute, I was pretty freaked out.

Watch my latest Allure Insiders video, and see if I was able to keep my cool through the needle-abundant cosmetic acupuncture treatment. Screw you, needles. You pointy little a-holes.



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A Scene From The Saved By The Bell Lifetime Movie Is Here, And It's The Best Worst Thing Ever

YOU GUYS. It's almost time for the masterpiece that is The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story (cool name, dude) to be thrust upon our souls. (It comes on September 1, so clear your MF-ing palm pilots for that day, YOU'RE BUSY.)

If this sneak-peek is any indicator of the class of film that we have in store, we are in for a massive-ass treat. This shit looks terrible. But that should come as no surprise, because the "movie" is somewhat based on Dustin Diamond's book that he wrote about his experiences on the show. And if you've ever seen anything from real-life Screech Powers, he's kind of known to be (ALLEGEDLY) a pretty tool-y tool.

Side-stepping those issues, who are these actors? I feel like Napoleon Dynamite might have been the casting director. Here's a dramatic recreation of how I think casting went:

Casting person/director/I don't know these things: "Hey, assistant person, I need for you to find any group of four white people, an African American person and a Hispanic person. Doesn't matter who. Oh, and grab some blonde hair dye, an eyebrow pencil and as many pairs of pleated pants as you can find. And if they still make those bendy hair roller things, get some of those. 

Assistant person:
 

Aaaaaaand scene.

All of those things being said, I can't wait to watch the shit out of this. Assistant, bring me my Filofax so I can set it aflame to clear my schedule forever and ever.



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