Sh*tty eff, you guys, how have I lived this long without the Style Screamer? I can't believe that I've been able to walk to cars for over 30 years and made it out alive. Lady luck has clearly pulled me through by the skin of my friggin' teeth.
On the real real, if you were really in an effing life-threatening sitch, are you going to pull on your bedazzled-ass cluster tassel? Or will you be scraping a mofo's windows of their soul out with your Hello Kitty beer bottle opener on your key chain? Plus, I'm pretty sure good, old-fashioned, been around for 4.7 million years screaming yo' damn ass off would do quite nicely. I'm totally for protecting yourself in creepster situations, but this is just unnecessary.
Did you notice that 99% of the men in this video were just guilty of walking in the stairwell with a hood/kind of looking Jersey Shore-ish? But listen, if you're really freaked out by Pauly D types hassling your ass outside the Aeropostale, get a whistle for like $1. True story -- my mom bought me a pink whistle to keep in my backpack in middle school in case anyone tried to abduct me, and decided to give it to me on Valentines Day. I threw it out, because...
Thug Life. And middle school angst.
P.S. If you're reading this, Mom, please don't buy me this.
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