Who Wore Nakey(ish) Best? Celebrity(ish) Chippendale Dudes.

I'm sure you guys have read in my What 90210 Stars Are Doing in 2013 and Beyond newsletter that Steve Sanders (or Ian Ziering, if you're nasty) is doing that whole celebrity guest star Chippendales thing this month.

pic via ny daily news

Can we just take a minute to recognize that S.S. is FORTY EFFING NINE years old? Homeboy is looking real, real nice. I'm not super sold on Stevie's wig game, but I never really have been.

I mean, really.

Seeing Eye-an's Chippie pics made me want to reflect on all of the past (loosely-termed) celebrity guest dancers, and put them ween to ween to see who is the hottest of them all. Let us study the evidence.

First up, Jeremy Jackson, of David Hasselhoff's son on Baywatch fame. (Or of meth/Celebrity Rehab fame, if you're a b*tch, like me.)

Okay, well this is...okay. The little bit that is the "costume" is somewhat wonky and ill-fitting, but I'm grateful that THIS Jeremy Jackson isn't being showcased.

what in avril lavigne fan club president hell is this sh*t?

Or, this one, for that matter.

Well, I just went to prison. Let's move on.

How about the Bachelor's Jake Pavelka?

How about not? Let's skip this one. Close your legs, Pavelka. It's quite unbecoming.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. Now ladies, how about that dude from 98 Degrees? Not one of the Lacheys, not that ONE dude. This guy:

...And his child...also in a child-sized Chippendale outfit...I can't even with this. Fast forward.

There's also Sir Ronald of the house of Jersey Shore.

This looks about as bling-y as expected. Plus, he's doing half-assed finger guns. So, half a point?

What about the father of "Whoa," himself, Joey (Joe? Joseph? I'm not up on the news.) Lawrence?

He looks good, but you know I'm super concerned about that eyebrow sitch. You're waaaay into code orange brow territory, broseph. You're single-handedly keeping waxing places open.

What do you b's think? Who wore the bow tie and weird shirt cuffs best?

If you don't love everything about this, namely Swayze's hair and pant's waist level, then I don't love you.






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