Lose the Scaly Skin: The Best Heavy Duty Body Moisturizers

I love a good greased-up appendage. (Not like that, sick brain!) I have always preferred a crazy, super-heavy, moisturizing body lotion/oil/greasy fun product. It's my mom's fault. When I was a kid, she was constantly slathering on her Nivea body lotion (not to mention tanning oil), and let me tell you, that b had the softest skin EVA! Over the years, I have developed my own beauty list of my favorites, and now I am here to share them with my homegirls!

First up is Nivea Creme. It is SER-I-OUS. I poo poo you not. I started using this mess in high school, so it's my O.G. (That's Original Gansta for you youngins.) jam. It makes your skin really shiny, which I really love! It's around $8 at your local general store. (Like the old west!)

Ugh, you guys. Cocoa butter isn't just for pregnant chicks' bellies anymore. I LOVE cocoa butter. Especially Palmer's. It's so rich and creamy and ridiculously moisturizing. And is SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE. Need I say more? CHOCOLATE! This badass b is around $5, and you can pretty much snag it anywhere. (I mean probably not Hot Topic or anything, but you get my point.)

P.S. Store it upside down so you can get it out more easily! See, I'm helpful!

Palmer's is the Thelma to my Louise, but I did find another cocoa butter that I'm kind of into. I was at Target, and I wanted some cocoa butter (shocker) and the Boot's Cocoa Butter Body Butter was on sale for $8.50 (It's usually $9.99) so I picked it up. Sadly, when I got it home and opened it, I saw that somebody had stuck their grubby little paws all up in my Kool Aid. There were finger drag marks galore. Gross. And I had already thrown out my receipt. What's a nasty girl to do? USE THAT ISH! And you know what? I don't regret it. My legs are so soft right now, that it's worth the risk of Scabies and Typhoid Fever (Oregon Trail style).

Now hang on a second. I know you're going to think that I'm crazy. I like to use coconut oil as a body lotion. Slightly unconventional? Maybe. But it worked so well as a hair mask that I thought I would try it as a moisturizer. I liked that ish! Yes, it's oily. But it absorbs into the skin after a couple of minute, so hang on hussy! You can buy coconut oil at specialty grocery and health food stores. It has a bajillion (I counted.) uses!

That's it my squishy, oiled-up minxes! Do you guys like to grease yourself up like you're about to jump into kiddie pool with another chick? Or are you more of a tame, lightly moisturized lady? Let's talk.


Pin It