Like many pop culture gems worth their salt, Sex and the City had some freaking fantastic beauty moments. Like Carrie's hair. And Carrie's hair. And when Samantha shaved her head after chemo treatments, and that hot bia Smith followed suit. That was a real sacrifice; dude had some magical-ass hair.
But even beyond that, SATC gave us actual teachable beauty lessons -- times you could say, "Shit, I FEEL that." Here are my favorite 15.
1. It may take a minute to find a good look for yourself.
(Season 1, Episode 1)
Hopefully, you've already gleaned this nugget of beauty information from me, but if you haven't, I think this photo collage alone allows me to rest my case, Your Honor. Your pilot look usually sucks, even in life.
2. Don't stay up doing shady shit all night when you're shooting a cover story for NEW YORK EFFING MAGAZINE the next day. (Season 2, Episode 4)
In this case, Carrie should have used her own GD advice and taken a Nap(a). And maybe time-traveled to 2015 and used a really hydrating sheet mask? Yes, that's a question mark.
3. Instead of having "the talk" with your (maybe) boyfriend, just leave your tampons and a brush there. (Season 2, Episode 11)
Talking sucks; let your girly shit do the speaking.
4. Hair plugs are scary. (Season 2, Episode 11)
Have these things improved with time? Help me, Bosley Medical.
5. Let your boob flag fly, you total Char.
(Season 3, Episode 3)
Charlotte was super uptight about showing her bawdy, but once she was actually naked, everyone was like, "Uhh...nice rack." So, quit being all uncool. Okay?
6. Getting your hootenanny waxed is probably horrible.
(Season 3, Episode 14)
I, admittedly, have never done this. I attempted to begin an at-home wax once, and it was the worst and I got a shitty rash. HARD PASS on the real thing.
7. Braces are a real bitch. (Season 3, Episode 15)
It doesn't matter if you're 14 or 40, having metal in your mouth is not NEARLY as fun as flattening a paperclip and pretending it's a retainer. Futuristic mouth transplants, where you at?
8. Keep some flip flops, or some type of shit, in your bag.
(Season 3, Episode 17)
Carrie was foot-mugged on the dirty-ass streets of New York, and we couldn't help but wonder: would you rather a), keep some simple type of footwear in your bag for emergencies; or b), have Britney-barefoot-in-a-Starbucks feet? Choose your own adventure.
9. Heidi Klum ain't all that. (Season 4, Episode 2)
JK, JK; she totally is. And, also, if Dolce & Gabbana tell you to put on bedazzled underwear and get to stepping, you do it?
Then you fall on your a-hole. And it's fine.
10. Fake nips are an actual thing. (Season 4, Episode 6)
I have nothing else to say about this. I just wanted you to know that they exist.
11. Dudes really like deodorant. (Season 4, Episode 13)
Carrie found hoarder-levels of antiperspirant in Aidan's man stuff, and I have found similar things around my own house. This makes me ask -- Dudes, why you so obsessed with deodorant?
12. Sarcasm Report: If you want to look whorey, get some volume in your hair and define your eyebrows.
(Season 5, Episode 3)
Charlotte went to Atlantic City with the other girls of SATC, and decided to slip into a shiny freakum dress and v, v solid hair and makeup. She was trying to look slutty, and I LIKED IT A LOT. Buy some eyeliner, Charlotte York. It's not just for sluts anymore! (Can that please be a tagline for a cosmetics ad?)
13. Face peels will peel your face. (Season 5, Episode 5)
Samantha got a peel, and looked a hot and bloody mess, as one is wont-ish to look. It is my one great hope that they put raspberry jelly all over Kim Cattrall's face to film these scenes, like they do with pretend newborns in movies, who are actually like 28 months old.
14. If you have a cystic zit, LEAVE IT THE HELL ALONE.
(Season 5, Episode 7)
Carrie had a big-ass zit. On a dirty-ass train. If you find yourself in that exact situation, just leave it alone and slap a sulfur-y mud mask on your face. Not all zits are meant to be popped. (I know, I know. Don't pop anything. Boring.)
15. Don't dye your pubes with hair dye. Please.
(Season 6A, Episode 12)
Samantha found a gray pube and decided to try to get the carpet to match the drapes, but ended up with clown wig shrubs. If you REALLY want to dye your bathing suit area, that's cool. Just use that actual dye for that actual area. Or maybe wear a merkin! People don't wear merkins enough these days.
What was your biggest beauty learnin' from Sex and the City? And are you currently wearing a merkin? Plz respond.
No comments :
Post a Comment