Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Justin Bieber Visits Strip Club, Strippers Around The Country Collectively Quit.


No, they didn't. But they should, because that sh*t is some inhumane working conditions. The Huffington Post has pieced together a story from TMZ and The Miami New Times involving Biebs visiting a Miami strip club for about an hour and spending somewhere around $75,000. He was there celebrating someone named Lil' Scrappy's birthday. The strip club tweeted this after: "Justin Bieber just ordered 75k ones..." and also included some dumb and annoying emojis. There's also a quote from the club promoter, named Disco Rick, that is boring and adds nothing to this story.

Let's dissect all of this tom foolery, shall we?
  • Don't strippers have enough bullsh*t that they have to deal with, without dealing with Bieber? I'm sure dealing with your everyday, garden-variety strip club patron is annoying enough.
  • How many Lil's are there out there? These kids are like a Warner Brothers cartoon about a rag-tag gang of kittens.
  • Isn't there some kind of code of ethics when it comes to nakey bars? Like, isn't it kind of like a doctor, where they shouldn't be tweeting all of your business all over the internets?
  • DISCO RICK??? ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? It's 2014, sir, please retire.

Speaking of retiring, I've had just about enough of this world. I just can't with you, anymore, Earth.




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