Beauty Sh*t That Reminds Me of My Favorite Lovah, Wine.

Wine is the ish, you guys. And so beauty mess that reminds me of my ride-or-die b, wine, is the ish, by proxy. Doy. And now that I have your attention (WINE) and I'm drinking (WINE), let's get this party started. But not with P!nk. I'm not that drunk. (Yet.)

My favorite wine-inspo category is probably the nail variety. Wine nails are effin' hot, y'allz. They're vampy and sexy, and make my ass feel glamorous, which is kind of a hard thing to do. I'm trash.

essie in recessionista (target, $7.79) & revlon top speed in forbidden (drugstore.com, $3)

I've already told you homies about the deal with Essie's Recessionista, but it's worth repeating. To me, it's a true wine color. It's not as dark as some wine-y polishes, and it's super classy -- if that's your bag o' tricks. I'm you are a tad darker, and maybe a cheap ass --



then Revlon's Top Speed in Forbidden might be for you. It's goth, hot, and dries fast. (Three things I look for in a dude...NO!) Plus, it's $3 right now on drugstore.com, so go snatch that ish, crazy brains.

elizabeth arden beautiful color radiance blush in plum perfection, $26

The Elizabeth Arden peeps sent over some of their new blush colors for me to try, and I'm super into this one. It's called Plum Perfection, so it's not REALLY wine, but I'm sure you can get plum wine...somewhere. This blush has the tiniest hint of glimmer, and it's very subtle, so you can use it and not feel like you belong in the Insane Clown Posse. (If ICP were really into wearing heavy blush, or something.) But the color is really cool and different, so I'm into it. Just keep it to the apples of your cheeks to keep from looking like you were somehow squeezed into an 80's time capsule.

tarte lipsurgence matte lip tint in envy, $24

I got this tarte LipSurgence somewhere, at some point in time (I can't be held to remembering actual THINGS), and I live for this sh*t. I really love tarte lip products because they are minty and fabulous. And I REALLY love this stuff because it's what Kat Dennings wears on 2 Broke Girls, and I want to borderline Single White Female that b. It lasts a long time, and you can also apply and blot if you want a more demure, stain-y look. (But who the eff does?!?)

Okay, that's it, mofos. I'm all wined out. (NEVAAAAR!)

 Pssshhh. No sh*t.




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