I mean, come on. Fergie Ferg and Jennifer Love Hews...Whatevs. I was jealous as eff as all of these little chicken heads. Young kids singing age inappropriate songs? That gets all kinds of "YAAAS" from me.
#5 -- The main chick from Ladybugs
I don't know this girl's name or story. All I know is she was really pretty, and she got to co-star with my super crush at the time, Jonathan Brandis. And, bonus:
B got to work with Jackee Harry. End of list.
#4 -- Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I was totally obsessed with this mess. Her outfits...So avant garde! My fake name when I was a kid was Clarissa. What, you didn't have a fake name?
But my favorite thing about Clarissa was her room:
Man, that ish was hot. I was dying to do all this crap to my room, but my mom was all, "You can't paint over your wallpaper. It will dimish the resale value of the house. Blah, blah." Ugh, white middle-class people are so uptight.
But my favorite Melissa Joan Hart moment actually came just a few years ago.
Tell me you can tear your eyes away. I know you can't. Mmmm. I'm hungry for Fruit Roll Ups, now.
#3 -- The daughter from She's Out of Control
You guys have probably never seen this fantastic piece of art, but it's magnificent. I mean it stars Tony Danza! (But no Angela, and even worse, NO MONA!)
REALLY?!? She looks like this dude:
Ridic, movie people. Ridic.
But check out this outfit. That heel is almost too sexy for Hollywood. But on the real, this movie made me Down 4 Life when it comes to thigh highs.
#2 -- Teen Witch
If you haven't seen Teen Witch, I can't even with you. It is the best thing in the world, hands down. Like, the music in this mess will rock the HELL out of your world. The absolute best moment in cinematic history is this one:
Look at this ish. It's flawless as eff. Sigh.
And I always wanted to be the most popular girl. The best part of this is the gangster dude getting super into the musical number:
Ugh, I'll never have an embellished denim vest that is half that beast. I hate my life.
#1 -- The Queen (Princess? Whatever.) from The Neverending Story
Who knows what this b's name is. I've watched this movie about 284982 times, and I still don't know. But that head piece is one of the best things I have seen to this day. Also, she wore makeup and she was like, maybe 10. So. Freakin'. Jealous.
I was also weirdly obsessed with these statues:
Boob envy? Badass wing envy? I don't know, but they are cool.
Side note: What the hell was this all about?
That ish is scary as eff.
As you can see, I was a weird kid that became a weird adult.
Who did you guys want to be when you were a kid? Or was that even a thing for you? Am I insane? (Probs.)
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