Ob. Sessed.

Listen, I don't mean to be a Negative Nelly, but I really detest tanning. Indoor, outdoor, no thanks. I know it may seem like an amazing idea right now, but trust, when you are looking a hot mess way too young, don't come crying to me. But no worry, you can be a bronzed goddess without looking like a baseball mitt.

Side note: If you want to embrace the paleness, I'm totally down. Vampires are hot, I dig it.

This is for those of us that just feel slightly hotter with some color on our buns. I have been a self-tanning fanatic on and off for almost ten years. I have tried almost every brand and formulation out there. I have looked a streaky mess many a time. (See: Lindsay Lohan's legs in natural sunlight.) But I now have my application down to a science. And I have my favorite self tanners. See what's up after the jump!

 

Xen-Tan is a new find for me. It has an almost olivey (so not a word) shade to it when you put it on, so it counteracts that terrible orange shade self-tanners tend to have. It's kind of pricey, but don't worry recessionistas (bleh) I have an option for you, too.

This ish is like $5, and it's my runner-up. Score for cheap b's like me.

So now you're wondering, "How, pray tell does this look on actual humanoid skin???" Well, don't you worry your pretty little face about that.

This is my arm. In my bathroom. Contain your excitement.  But I don't look like a shade of valencia, do I? So come back inside sunbathers! Rub on some fakeness, and come on over to the dark side. Are you scared to try? Comment freely, people. Pin It