Try Not To Throw Out Your Back From Laughing News: Farrah Abraham Is Stripping, But Only For Research

pic via farrah's instagram

I know that you have probably writing in your diary every night, just pondering on what Farrah Abraham has been up to lately. Especially since the news broke that Teen Mom, OG edition is coming back to MTV, sans the Abe. Well, here's the short answer -- she's now working at an Austin strip club called Palazio Gentlemen's Club. (People of Austin, go to there and report back. Actually, don't. I think we all know what's doing in that bitch.) But you can quit side-eyeing her in your rude ass head, BECAUSE IT'S ONLY FOR TOP SECRET RESEARCH, YOU D-HOLES. She told E! News:

"A friend of mine works there and I'm researching. I've been trying out all the roles that make up a gentleman's club, including cocktailing and dancing. There's management and there's cooking too. It's job shadowing that I hope pays off. In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that's what I'm doing. It's how I get the information to write my books and do my movies. Unfortunately, I'm not free to talk about what those future projects may be. But I'm interested in hearing all the women's stories. And while I'm doing it, I'm getting paid. I'm getting paid to play a role and get informed."

So, not only is she stripper-shadowing, she'll be cooking chicken fingers with gourmet dipping sauces (I'm only assuming) up in the club? Let me know when that nevergoingtohappenthing happens. I'll be holding my damn breath. Is anyone CPR certified?

Homie, you can seriously quit playing game with our hearts, because we don't believe all of that silly effery. Breaking news, Fare Bear: no one gives a shit if you want to be a STRIPPER stripper. It's fine. Live your damn life and do what you want. Except making music. Please never, ever do THAT again.




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