Lindsay Lohan's ALLEGED Done Did It List Of Famous Dudes (With Bonus Speculations)

With the premiere of Lilo's new reality show, creatively named Lindsay (which everyone should watch, by the way, it's beyond interesting), the tabloids are hot on her a-hole, breaking new stories of homegirl's sordid life. In Touch is leading the trash pack with a story about Lindsay writing out her "personal conquest list" of famous dingalings. Yay!

Before we delve into this list, let me say this: I'm taking this story with a million grains of salt. This deal was supposedly written over a year ago, and now a "friend" has turned this treasure over to the rags. There are really only a couple of options of how this played out, if it is indeed real. Either sweet cheek's friends are total dicks, or LL's people released this list for publicity for her show, hoping more schmoes might watch in hopes of her mentioning a tidbit about what Adam Levine's ween is like. I hope it's the latter.

There are some totally expected hoes on this list like Wilmer Valderamma, Colin Farrell, James Franco, and Adam Levine. Those dudes are kind of the Sausage o' the Month seeming types, so I'm not impressed. But Heath Ledger? I can't. Justin Timberlake? I hope it was during his ramen-esque hair era. Zac Efron? Hrmsmdfjl. (You can interpret that for however you choose. You're probably right.) I forgot Lukas Haas existed, so good for him. Evan Peters? That seems...odd. I refuse to even acknowledge Jaime Dornan, because my brain won't allow that to happen. He's crazy hot, and I won't let him be tarnished in my loins/heart. But, holdup. JOAQUIN PHOENIX??? That's some weird effery. I actually want to see that happen. On a scientific level. With microscopes and shit. As for the rest of the mens up on this list:

Here's the most interesting thing about this sexcapade catalog: WHAT THE CRAP NAMES ARE BELOW THE BLURS? I NEED TO KNOW! Don't worry, I have some theories.

Wilford Brimley