Dammit, you guys. I JUST STARTED WATCHING GAME OF THRONES YESTERDAY. I know, I know. I'm a dumb d*ck.
 |
| I just hate this kid's face. So much. |
And don't effing spoil crap for me, because I'm only in the middle of the first season. I already read all the hoopla from this week's episode on social media, and and I don't want to know what it means, and I want to keep it that way. I will come to your house and slap you if you tell me ANYTHING.
Okay, I won't. I love your asses, but still. Don't.
After watching going on six hours of this magic, I decided that I totally want to take a time machine back to the Game of Thrones olden days. BUT, I want to be able to take beauty products with me, because Khaleesi. (That gorgeous, gorgeous b.)
The first thing that I'll desperately need are these Burt's Bees face wipes. I have tried a dragon's egg ton of face wipes, and these are the bee's knees. (Ugh. No. Someone stop me.) If you're living in pre-shower times, these mofos are a must.
And because I am the oiliest humanoid on this planet, the fun oily times don't stop with my face area. I shall also require the assistance of a baby powder to sop up the grossness of second day (and beyond) hair. If you have dark hair, sadly, you are SOL when it comes to using cheap crap like baby powder as a dry shampoo. Someone once told me that you can use cocoa powder, but I've never tried that mess. Let me know if you have primary research on that sh*t, so we can all get our lives together.
C'mon, ain't nobody got a toothbrush up in those days, so these disposable tooth deals with be super necessary. Can you even imagine what everything smelled like back then? I can't even handle sexy time scenes. You know it was gross as hell.
I DO NOT plan on roaming about without any makeup on. Sorry, homies, not happening. But I have narrowed that sh*t down to the bare essentials. Imma need a waterproof mascara, and
Stila's Stay All Day is my ride-or-die choice. It's supposed to be volumizing, but it's not so much. But it does separate the lashes nicely and has great staying power, which is essential. You know my ass will be crying all day, erry day. My constitution is quite delicate.
I picked
Revlon's ColorStay Ultimate Suede Lipstick in Backstage for dual purposes -- lips and cheeks. Backstage is a pretty dark berry-ish color, so I don't apply it like a regular lipstick. I blot it on lips and cheeks, then blend it in, so it's like a lip stain. Plus, it's got great staying power, just in case I'm forced to work at a pleasure house, or something.
Always be prepared. Now, if you'll excuse my ass, if going back to my endless GoT watching sesh.
Pin It
No comments :
Post a Comment