This is a Completely Pointless Post. I Just Wanted to Share My Weirdness.

I came to a realization today of who I want to be in life.

I saw one of these old timey weird bicycle things on TV, and after googling, found out they are called a penny farthing. (That's some fancy ass ish. I can't get enough.) So, I want to ride one of these around while wearing a sexy tuxedo and top hat like this:

Babette (I want that name, too) from Boardwalk Empire.

And these Victotian-style buttony boots:

And of course a monocle (I kind of want that most):

This is from a place called "Gentleman's Emporium." Are you dying?

So that will be my outfit of choice as I ride around on my penny farthing and blow bubbles from my bubble pipe made from the world's finest mahogany. And I will also bid people "Good Day" in anger, while occasionally slapping b's across the face with my white gloves with tiny buttons on them. (Why were there so many tiny buttons in the early 1900's?)

What do you guys want to be when you grow up?

P.S. I say "Good day" to you sir! I say "Good day!" (Just practicing for life.)

P.P.S. I also with I could grow a twisty, maniacal moustache.

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BREAKING NEWS: Beyonce Got Bangs.

pic via usweekly

I don't like them. Nor do I enjoy your ensemble. (To be read en-sam-blay.) Carry on.

Thoughts, people?


via usweekly



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The Only 90's Tori Spelling Photo Round Up You'll Ever Need. (You Are Freaking Welcome, People.)

If Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus and broccoli had a baby, this would be its hair.

This is a helluva lot of look, T Spell. Helluva lot.

I really just wanted to post BAG's hair in this picture.

What is happening? Even the dog is freaked the eff out.

Dream 90's wedding. Annnnnnd cue vomit.

Somebody get the V05 Hot Oil Treatments in bulk. Immediately.

Holy sh*t. Lumiere is hanging from Donna Martin's ear. Times are tough, man.

My God. No. Is this a Project Runway/Michael's challenge?

I can't ever stop with this movie. WATCH. IT.

Oh, brother. Trim your bangs.

Like I could leave out mutha effin' Violet. Harry Potter bit homegirl's look.

And THIS. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS:



P.S. I still totally dance like this. I am joking 0%.


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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Shaun White's Seashell Boobs and Dinglehopper

pic via shaun white's twitter

I've been posting a lot of semi nude men lately, but this is just crossing (heh) the mofo line. This is Shaun White's Halloween costume. Get it? He's Ariel. (Ginger, tail, dinglehopper...) I secretly have a warm spot (Shut up! It's warms -- in spots -- sometimes.) for ginger dudes. For some reason, I think that they are sexual in one way or another. Two words: Prince Harry. I think it's because I have a red haired recessive gene in my family, and it's nature trying to keep the red huurrr going strong. Whatever. I do find Shaun White's hair sexy, but only if it was on my head. B has some good ass hair, right? So I did a little research, AKA googled, and here's what he says are his hair tips to People in like 2010:

“My secret is an awesome new product – called water,” White deadpans. “It’s pretty curly on its own. I just use the hotel shampoo and conditioner and wash it every other day, because otherwise it gets huge. Two days of snowboarding in a helmet helps — it looks better dirtier.”

Smug b.


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Random Homie: Oscar Blandi Texture & Volume Spray

pic via sephora

My hair is fine as ish. And not in like a, "Damn girl, you're fine." kind of way. (I am actually aware that it is not the year 2000. My my brain is just stuck there, like Liz Lemon's brother on 30 Rock.) So I'm always looking for something for a volume boost. And lately I have been really into the undone hair look, as opposed to my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills/OC/NJ/NY...waves that I have been doing on and off for years.

This lil' can of Oscar Blandi Texture & Volume Spray (that was another goodie from my Best of Beauty SWAG) is like an instant blamo of UNDONE sexy. I have been keeping the can in my purse and giving some extra sprays throughout the day. Then I rake my fingers through my hair at the end to get that unfinished/slightly beachy look. I wanted to take some before and after pictures, but I didn't have enough time to wash my hair before work this morning, and that greasy ass situation is NOT CUTE right now. It's for your own damn good, trust me.

One caution: If you like super shiny hair, this is not your bag. It's kind of mattifying and texturizing, which is the point of it. I used it on a friend's hair at work because she has the super crazy straight, silky, shiny hair that won't hold curl at all. I asked her how it turned out the next time I saw her, and she said the curls stayed for DAYS in that straight ass hair.

via mrhankey

Okay? Okay. Check it out for yourself here.



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Neil Patrick Harris' Family Never Fails to Make a B SQUEEEEE!

via neil patrick harris' twitter

Listen, I'm not even kid obsessed, or anything, but this ish is freaking ridiculously adorable. Kids in Halloween costumes are already really cute, but the whole family? In themed costumes? Squeeeee, b*tch. SQUEEEE!

P.S. Lil' Dorothy is totally into it, but Lil' Lion looks vaguely pissed. And NPH's husband is possibly the cutest.



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New Music Thursday! (Okay, That's Not a Thing, But It's Thursday. And There's New Music.)

Vampire Weekend played a new song, called "Unbelievers," last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live. I effin' love VW, so I'm totally into pretty much anything that they do. They're on my "Must See" concert list, but b's pretty much don't do ANY live performances at this point.

via lizlemongifs

So, I'll just have to live my life unrequited. Friggin' balls, man.



Also coming out with a new music teaser, is Ashlee Simpson, with a song called "Bat for a Heart." Hmmmkay. BE WARNED: Don't blast this ish at work. She says the f word roughly three times in this clip. It sounds pretty good, but it's no "Pieces of Me" in this piece. I'll probably like her new stuff, because I'm lame as a mofo.

What do you guys think? Are you into either one of these? Or do I have horrible musical tastes? (NO, I DON'T!)



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