Who's the Cooler Cat, (I Truly, Truly Hate Myself) Garfield or Heathcliff?

I think that we can all agree that the 90's were filled with an ish-load of awesomeness. And part of that came down to two orange cats, Garfield and Heathcliff. So the question begs to be asked in a head-to-head Battle Royale. Who was the best: Garfield or Heathcliff???

Battle of the munchies 

Food is the bomb, right? And it seems like cats like nasty ish. It's always like Salmon with a Hint of Liver and Garbage Juice on cat food labels. So let's check out what these cats were chewin' on.

Heathcliff:

Heathcliff eats fish bones and garbage.

 Garfield:

Garfield eats lasagne.

Winner: Duh. Lasagne is delicious. Garfield takes this one.

Homepeeps
Dogs have packs, and cats have...Eff if I know. But both of these cats had friends that they hung out with on the regular. Who's got the better cat gang?

Heathcliff:

Look at these hot b's. That's some fashion-forward ish.

Heathcliff even had a lady friend. With TWO pink bows. Fancy!

Garfield:

Garfield has Odie and Jon. Snooze.

Winner: Heathcliff takes this one. Those junkyard cats were fly as ish. Floppy hats? Leg warmers? Skinny ties and sweatbands? B, please. Garfield's Jon can't even hang with that mess. He looks like a cartoon version of Cousin Larry. Not hot.

Hello?!? Try to tear your eyes away from Balki's mullet. I dare you.

Theme Song
Music is an important factor in coolness. If your theme song is super lame, you can't be a true boss b. Who had the cooler theme song?

Heathcliff:

This song is still fire. If I wasn't too lazy to have a ringtone on my cell phone, I would totally use this.

Garfield:

 I don't even remember this ish, I can't lie.

Winner: Heathcliff's song will rock your damn face off.

Street Cred
When you're a cat, you kind of have to be a badass. No one respects a cuddly cat. Who's got the most street cred?

Heathcliff:

Heathcliff was always doing some hood rat stuff.

Plus, he was in a GANG that lived in a JUNKYARD!

Garfield:

Garfield was kind of a dick, so he gets major points for that.

And apparently, he's girlfriends with Lil' Wayne.

Winner: Tie. Garfield's sh*tty attitude lives on in annoying t shirts to this day, but living in a garbage heap trumps living in a creepy, middle aged, single dude's house.

Overall Winner
I'm sorry, Garfield fans. I've got to give the overall cat awesomeness prize to Heathcliff. He's a badass b (Trina style) and everything about that show screams high fashion. Agree or disagree? Bash me (or raise the roof with me) in the comments.

 

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True Blood Musings: Let's Get Drunk

Now that's a tight eyebrow game. Speaking of, let's start talking crap...

Jump, b's!

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Listen.

Pic via Huffington Post

I like this mess, because it looks like it's straight outta Compton Contempo Casuals circa 1998. That was my mother effin' heyday, so you know how you get stuck in that ish. Good job, Miley. You are super reppin' the late 90's like a serious boss.


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Oh, Lana del Rey...

Lana del Rey just released her new music video for National Anthem, in which she portrays herself as Jackie O or something. I love any retro, grainy-type ish, so I'm pretty into it.

But here's my deal. I just can't decide if this b is my soul mate, and I want to split a Fun Dip with her, or if I want to slap the pout out of her face. Lannie can rock some talons, though. That is one thing of which I AM certain.

What are you guys feeling on this?



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My Next Allure Daily Beauty Reporter Post: At Home Spa Ish.

Photo via Allure

Go check out my next Allure blog post, Have a Freakin' Fabulous Spa Day, Without Leaving the House! 



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I'm Not a Parent...

And if I were, I would probably be a half sh*tty one, but I am not okay with this.

Willow Smith has pierced her little 11 year old tongue. I'm totally down with the hair whipping back and forth, the head shaving, and such. I was certainly no angel (Yes, I was! If my family is reading this.), but 11 is freakin' redonk for starting with piercings. What is that? Fifth grade or some mess? I at least had the decency to wait until I was 15 or 16 to sneak out and get my belly button pierced! (I'm old fashioned that way. It was like '96. That's how we rolled back then.)

Send that little sweetheart to get a henna tattoo (which I wasn't allowed to do) or get a hair wrap. That was my jam in middle school.

Am I being an old b here? Are you guys on board with this ish?

Update: Willow Smith is saying that it's a fake tongue ring. We can all unclench now. I totally feel her, because when I was 11 I had fake glasses, a fake broken arm in a sling, and a fake retainer made from a paperclip. (No wonder my teeth aren't straight.)



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True Blood Musings: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

 Some people are making big changes 'round here (thanks, Counting Crows), so let's talk about this ish. Don't look at this picture of Eric for too long. You might burn your retinas.

JUMP! JUMP!

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