Damn You, Target!

I got an email from Target today, letting me know that they have a limited time designer collabo with Albertus Swanepoel, who typically makes hats that retail for around $400. I super love the leopard hat here, and the best part is all of the hats are $19.99! What??? Okay, Target. You've snookered me again into wanting some of your bull ish!

Here are a few more that I'm pretty much dying over.

So cute! What do you guys think? Are you "hat girls?" Check out the entire Target collection here. Pin It

And in No Doy News...

I am proud of this b for announcing this ish on her own terms, and not in some annoying ass People mag spread. And kudos (Or as RHWoNY's Ramona Singer would say, "Kah-dooooz.") on a cute Halloween costume/hair/makeup deal. Pin It

Let's Get This Out of the Way

Lindsay Lohan on WhoSay

This. B*tch. Lilo posted this picture over the weekend accompanied by the following tweet, "Thanks Dr. Dorfman for the zoom... My gums are so sore though!" Ummmm...no. This is what her teeth looked like last week.


Let's all just quit effing playing. Slapping some freaking Crest Whitestrips on your teefs does not wash the crackiness out. Getting your teeth whitened does not make the chips go away. You got veneers, sweetness. I'm over this lying ass! Just tell the truth. Here, I'll write your press release!

"Hey, guys! Lindsay Lohan here. Guess what? I'm so excited! After peddling my ass for Playboy, I took part of that mil and got my teeth fixed. Yep, I got veneers! Don't they look better??? Thanks for your well wishes! I've got to to morgue duty; court ordered. Peace!"

See? What that so hard?

P.S. Nice bowl full o'ciggies in the background of your picture. Pin It

Kim K and Her Husband are Already Hanging it Up!

Pic via Daily Mail

TMZ is reporting that Kim Kardashian and her husband are filing for divorce after 72 days of marriage. Have you even gotten your wedding pictures back at this point? That ish is quick as hell. I didn't have THAT much hope for these two, anyway. I think any time you date/marry someone that has the same name as a family member (not to mention your MOM), crap's not going to work. That mess is creepy.

I also just wanted to post a picture of Kim's costume this year. For having a multi-bajillion dollar empire, this looks low-rent as hell. I mean, shouldn't poor-ass plebeians like us be raiding Michaels and hot gluing plastic leaves to corsets? For shame! (I originally typed "sham." I should have kept the typo. Fitting!)

Pin It

The Scariest Halloween...EVER.

Just a couple of tricks this year, no treats. Courtney Stodden, everyone's favorite, demure teenager dressed as a "little girl" for Halloween this year. While her husband dressed as...her? Bleh. Please, you know it's not the first time that man has tucked for his life and slapped on some sequins. Don't even get me started on his sensible auntie heels. I see you, Doug. You aren't fooling me.

P.S. They're wearing matching nail polish.

P.P.S. You don't learn your "good" photo angles and how to smile with your eyes overnight, Doug. Quit playing.

Pic via Radar Online. Go see more pics there. Pin It

Code ORANGE!

I was perusing the ol' Facebook earlier today, checking out people's Halloween pictures. (One of my favorite pastimes, BT-dubs. I can silently judge people. But now I'm blogging about it...Whoopsie?) I noticed an issue with a lot of girls/ladies/young women/whatevs. No, not the slutiness/tininess/low rent-ness of the costumes. Do your thang, girl! It's Halloween! No, this was something much more sinister. So many b's were way too damn tan! It looked like a dang Valencia orange grove up in there! Let's explore this issue...I'll even talk ish about myself!


I mean, sh*t! Look at me! I was too tan even on my wedding day. And those pictures WON'T DIE! I was a tanorexic b for a looooong time. Not. Cute. But don't worry! I'm not the only one.


Ol' Xtina (Remember that?!?) has been too tan forever, along with a long list of other celebrities. See: Everyone on Jerseylicious. (Yes, I'm stretching at the term "celebrity.") Baseball mitts, anyone?


Oh these two. Even swag-a-rific designers aren't immune to this is. You know Anne Hathaway is thinking, "If this b gets his crazy ass bronzer all over my porcelain skin, I will scream!" (You know she's a stomping, screaming kind. Look at her face. It's okay, Annie. I am too!) I can't even with Donatella. She's just filed under: Too. Much.


And you KNOW I couldn't forget about America's sweetheart! B*tch got 99 problems, and her tan is one. Honey, you SELL SELF TANNER. Get it together!

I'm pleading with everyone. Being too tan is not cute! It's a real thing! C'mon peeps. Let's kick this ish together, and self tan in moderation. (NO TANNING BEDS!)

PSA, anyone? Pin It

Every Woman is Jealous.

I am jealous. I'm jealous that I lost my Caboodle in '93 and I can't find my exact match to that lipstick shade C Stod is rocking. I'm jealous that I have searched every Body Shop and Rave around, and I still can't find an arm cuff like that. Blerg!

But seriously, how did this girl become the alleged person that is now Courtney Stodden? Get on that, Rubix Cube solvers. There's your puzzle. Pin It