Showing posts with label True Blood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label True Blood. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

True Blood Musings: And There Goes a Hot B

 This picture is obvi not from this week's episode, but I love this Russell Edgington picture. It's like, "Oh, hello there. I just came in from a fox hunt-themed man wig party. I didn't see you there."

 Speaking of Russell, lets talk about this week. JUMP!

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Monday, July 9, 2012

True Blood Musing: The Supes are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E

Way to ruin the mood, Sook. Go take a dramamine with some ginger ale or something. Let's talk about this mess of a mess.

JUMP that ish!
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Monday, July 2, 2012

True Blood Musings: Let's Get Drunk


Now that's a tight eyebrow game. Speaking of, let's start talking crap...

Jump, b's!

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Monday, June 25, 2012

True Blood Musings: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes


 Some people are making big changes 'round here (thanks, Counting Crows), so let's talk about this ish. Don't look at this picture of Eric for too long. You might burn your retinas.

JUMP! JUMP!

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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

True Blood Musings: Let My Eric Go!

Pic via Celeb Buzz
 This picture is obviously not from this week's True Blood, but let's all pretend that we're on a little lovers' vacay with Joe, okay? Plus, there was not NEARLY enough Alcide in this week's epi. Now let's dish...JUMP!

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Monday, June 11, 2012

True Blood Musing: WE'RE BACK B'S!!!

 How much do you loved this photoshopped Rolling Stone cover? You know Skarsgard could hold Moyer like at tiny newborn.


 Okay, enough of this mess, let's talk the season's first epi! JUMP, b's. I said JUMP!

P.S. Duh, if you haven't watched, don't read this mess. And these are just my random thoughts, if you are new to this ish. It's not a review or whatever. So you might not give half an eff about this.

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Saturday, June 9, 2012

I Make Hot (That's Up to Your Judgement) Hoes Look Awkard: True Blood Edition

True Blood is back tomorrow, b's! And if you have been a reader of this blog for a while, you know I LIVE for this ish. I will be doing my dumbass True Blood recaps again, so get ready to hate on that mess.

In honor of all of the hot sessiness that makes up the True Blood lineup, I have scoured the interwebs via my AOL dial-up connection ("Mom! Don't pick up the phone! I'm in a chat room!") to find the most awkward pictures I can find of those hot, hot w's.

First up, Eric. Or Alexander Skarsgard, if you want to be all technical and ish. Today's Skarsy is a tall parfait of Nordic fro-yo sexiness, but check this out:


Did he have a former career as a Nick Carter impersonator? Is that a skinny pink belt in the picture on the right? Are those a pink pair of women's Izod pants on the right?

Next is the rugged hotness that is Alcide. Joe Manganiello is like a bear skin rug made of muscles, slightly dirty hair, and abs now, but here he is in high school:

Pic via Celeb Buzz
Okay, he's still pretty hot. (He's probably 18 in this picture -- Right? Don't call Chris Hansen.)

The new edition (Sit down, Bobby Brown, I wasn't talking about your ass.) to the show is Chris Meloni as some HBIC. I've always thought Chris was sprinkled with a special sauce of gruff and sexy. But here he is roughly 93842048 years ago:


Was he on Eight is Enough? Or is that just my mom's haircut from circa 1981? I would post a picture of that mess, but I'm sure she doesn't want to be associated with my ass.

And just for a little more awkwardness:


I don't know what this is, but it is just a whole big ol' bag of wrong that has been done to this man.

Jason Stackhouse, or Ryan Kwanten if you must, is a ripped little elf. But there are some unfortunate pictures of this hot little man. Exhibit A:


What exactly is this? (Besides awkward?)


And this is just shades of 98 Degrees of no.

Sam (on TB  and birth certificate) is a little take it or leave for me in the man department, but maybe some of you have a thing for him. I personally think he body doubles for Britney Spears' boyfriend, but whatevs.


Anyway, here he is hopefully in a modern day interpretation of Tom Sawyer. Starring a big ass red steering wheel and taking place in a bamboo jungle.

Sigh. I guess I have to mention my nemesis, Bill. I'm sure some people like stiff, wooden dudes. (Don't be gross.)


Seriously, did Stephen Moyer have a face (and hair) transplant with Chris Isaak? That ish cray.


And I can't leave out Andy Bellefleur. I know it's not conventional, but I find Sheriff Andy attractive for some reason. Don't judge me, Bill lovers!

Andy's driver's license reads "Chris Bauer," so that's what I googled to find weird pictures of Sheriff Andy. This is what I found:


Obvs (hopefully), this is a different Chris Bauer. Yet, still just as sexual. (Scruffy, watery eyed gingers need love, too!)


Here's a picture of the "real" Chris Bauer, looking like a real Baberaham Lincoln. (Thanks, Wayne's World for all of my comedic lines.)

Okay, I'm finished humiliating hot dudes. I'm like a boring, unsexy, virtual dominatrix.

See! Celebrities are just like us! (No they aren't.) They have horrible, awkward pictures from their past, too! (Regular people's -- like us -- are much, much worse.) Now let's all tune in tomorrow and catch the current hotness of the True Blood cast to wash this gross taste from our mouths.


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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Bill Ruins EVERY. THING.

Ugh, ignore Bill and focus on the PENGUIN (!!!)
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's rep have confirmed to Entertainment Weekly that ol' Sooks is pregnant. Dammit, Bill! If you ruin True Blood for me, I'll hate you forever. (Too late.) Maybe there was a TB staff hot tub party and things got frisky, and there's a possibility that it's Eric or Alcide's kid.

A girl can dream...

P.S. I googled 'Alcide' (Shut up, it's RESEARCH!) and found this:

 If all of my printer cartridges are dried up tomorrow, I think we all know why.


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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

A Hot Old B Finishes Out True Blood's Hotness Trifecta!


It has been confirmed, via TV Line that Chris Meloni (Detective Stabler 4 EVA!) will be joining True Blood as an ancient vampire. Um, yes and thank you! Are you not convinced? Then perhaps watch this 4 and a half minute video of his apparent hotness while Salt n' Pepa's 'Shoop' plays. This ish is pretty, pretty creepy.



Congratulations to True Blood's producer Alan Ball. He has now covered all of our hot bases. Sexual old dude? Check (Chris Meloni). Super sexual Nordic blonde b? Check (Duh, Eric). Super duper sexual dark and manly man? Check and check (Alcideeeeee!). Sorry, Bill. You didn't make the hot list. You may sit down.

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Monday, September 12, 2011

True Blood Musings: It Ain't Over!

Okay, yes, it is indeed over. (For now.) Sadness all around. Pour out a little Tru Blood for our True Blood homies lost this season, and let's all get drunk until next season. Because it's prohibition, y'alls! More on that later...But you know what I do hope is over?


This is just a heaping "no" sandwich. A hot, messy one at that. Let's talk TB finale, bitches.


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Monday, September 5, 2011

True Blood Musings: Leave La La OUT Of It!!!

 Okay, you b's know my love for Lafayette. That's my down ass b, and you know this. But in the final scene, when he's in bed with Jesus...That hair. That little scrap of hair that they are gluing on this poor man's head...Tragic.


File that ish under TOO. MUCH. Let's discuss this week's epi.

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Monday, August 29, 2011

True Blood Musings: My Boyfriend's Back, and You're Gonna Be in Trouble!

 When I saw my boy La La this week, this was all I could think about.


Let's talk about it!

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

True Blood Musings: Wait...What?

I don't know, guys. I kind of got the yawns this week. Were you guys kind of bored?


Okay, not you, Alcide. You're good. Yep, you are good. Let me collect myself, and let's do this.


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Monday, August 15, 2011

True Blood Musings: Somebody Get This W(B)itch Out of Here!


 Ugh. This b. Let's talk crap about her.
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Monday, August 8, 2011

True Blood Musings: Witchy Bitchy

 I tried to find a picture of Jason doing his crazy workout, but all I could find was this.

 Apparently, Ryan Kwanten is a Vinyasa yoga teacher. Ohhhh-kay! I will leave all of that to you dirty bitches' imagination. Let's discuss this week.

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