GUUUUUURL of the Day: Kanyeezy's Pseudo-Hero Mask

via buzzfeed

Dammit, West, what kind of nonsensical stupidity is happening here? You look like a milk man/priest/guy from Fat Albert hybrid.

Or like a kid on Halloween whose mom totally forgot that it was Halloween, because she works like three jobs (she's had some tough times), and then the kid is all, "MOOOOM, I don't even have a costume!" and she cuts a hole in the hat she's wearing and says it's a Spiderman costume. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure that you're holding your wenis like a corn cob. Can we just stop all of this sh*t, already? YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE SOMETHING'S FATHER.

Enough is a mother effin' nough.

P.S. This is why the world wants to collectively punch you.




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I Think Kanye West Wants Us to Put the Lotion on Its Skin.

pics via buzzfeed, via some instagram

I'm all for edgy. And dudes wearing skirts. And doing whatever the eff you feel like. Unless you look scary, which I feel like this is creepin' straight up in the latter category. (Truth bomb: I just had to re-edit the first two sentences roughly three times, because I've had some wine.) This is some Legends of Ga'Hoole meets Silence to the Lambs type sh*t.



It's friggin' weird, and I don't like it. Imagine what the inside of that mask must smell like. It's a feathery, owl mullet. Bleeeeeeeh.

via mrhankey

Okay, I have to go now, before my sh*t get out of hand.




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Disney Rides Are NEVER This Fun.

Wait...So is this a ghost story? I am completely and totally jealous of every single effin' person in this video. The late 80's/early 90's were so equal parts magical and disgusting, weren't they? They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. And if that's what it's like to be a construction worker, sign my ass up. I didn't realize that strong choreography was a job requirement.




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GUUUUUURL of the Day: Lindsay Lohan's Liz & DICK Premiere Dress

via huffpo

We are mere MINUTES away from the cinematic moment of the year, no, millennium. Liz & Dick premieres on Lifetime tonight, and I cannot wait for this ish storm. Don't worry, I will be watching and documenting all the good good for a post tomorrow. But first, we MUST discuss this. Did I get reverse-Rip-van-Winkled and it's really the year 2000? Because that is truly the only reasonable explanation for this dress right now. Or that this b stole my circa 2004 lamp shade from my trash and removed the fuzzy boa sh*t, repurposing it into a dress. That is highly possible with ol' Sticky Fingers McTakesalot here.

Let's end on something nice, shall we? I'm glad that Linds is back to being a ginge. That is how I enjoy my crazies most of all. Now it's time for DICK! (And Liz.)



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GUUUUUURL of the Day: This Creeper in a Homemade, Arts and Crafts Koala Mask

via thisistheinternet

What in the eff kind of nonsense is this, Sir? I am an avid lovers of koala bears, and this crap is scary and all kinds of inappropriate for my mind grapes. (Sidenote: Is it normal for a woman in her 30's to still have a favorite animal? No? Then good thing I'm 26...Shut up!) Even the fake ass koala looks sad as hell. Plus, he has your spittle all over his crotchal area. Rude. I'm even offended that that poor koala has to be next to that shirt you're wearing. I can't see much of your skin tone, but I feel pretty confident that that color is doing NOTHING for you. I am not amused.

And in case you have no idea what I'm talking about (or were born in the 90's), here's a refresher.





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