I'm not one of those crazy end-of-the-worlders, but it's the end of the world. I'm certain of this because the universe's most irritating infant, Justin Bieber, is showing off all of his cookies and milk as the newest Calvin Klein underwear model. And if that isn't the biggest sign of Earth's impending doom, I don't know what is.
If you don't feel like vom-ing enough, here's a little more fuel to your barf fire.
NOPE. Not today, Satan. Not today.
And now, because I've subjected you to the Bubonic Plague of things to see with eyeballs, here's some adorable salve.
It's so slippery, and his little hooves/paws/foot things can't even handle it! And neither can my heart. Goodbye.