I've never really had an opinion one way or the other regarding AnnaLynne McCord of (new) 90210 fame. In fact, I had to google her name like three times to figure out how to spell her damn name properly. This is how I'm used to 90210:
I prefer my 90210 with a heaping lot of Brenda, with a side of OOOOOONdrea Zuckerman. But ALMC recently tweeted a bare-faced pic of herself:
And I have to say, kudos to you, kiddo. Or KADOOZE as Real Housewife Ramona Singer would say.
I'm over celebs tweeting photos with flawless bare skin, and rubbing in all of our average faces. Like, we get it people, you are flawless. Great. I already hate myself enough. What more do you want from me? So I give uber points to ALMC for showing her real face, even if that includes a little uneven skintone LIKE AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING.
Okay, I just kind of wanted to use that phrase, because I am forever 12. Don't believe me?
This is what I'm wearing on my hand right now. I seriously hate myself. Anyway, enough about me. Let's ish on someone else for a while, shall we?
In case you have caught yourself unaware (How dare you?!?!?), this is Lana del Rey at last night's Met Gala. She is a (kind of ) indie singer, that people like to hate on. I ACTUALLY like this b, but come on, kitten. Is life so hard? YOU ARE AT AN EFFING PARTY, SWEETS. And you're wearing a badass cape. Do you know how much I wish I were wearing a cape right now? And sparkly other crap?
I'm wearing yoga pants and a damn child's bow ring. And I'm in my thirties. Buck up, kid. You've got it pretty good.
And you're pretty. So take your freakin' crabby pants off. Maybe try yoga pants. Them b's is comfy!
P.S. Whaddup to Natalie Portman's peplum-ed out face twin behind you. I see you, b!
But I just can't quit my boo. The most disturbing thing about these pictures is that C Stodd isn't wearing shoes while riding her bike. Do you remember how badly that ish hurt when you were a kid? You thought you were going to be a bad ass and go (shoe) commando, but then you just cried like a b.
Go see the other pics at Daily Mail. It involves Court playing volleyball by herself. She's just normaling, you guys. It's not weird.
I'll get right to the nasty (literally). Lisa Marie Presley told Elle Magazine in a recent interview that after she and Michael Jackson divorced in 1996 that they continued to have a...sex...u...al relationship for...four...more years. Ugh, that was hard to get out.
Michael Jackson has always been the absolute LEAST SEXUAL person in the world, to me. Don't believe me? Watch the video above and try to not feel nauseous. I dare you. It's not possible.
Let me start off by saying that I'm full-on jealous as hell that I didn't go to Coachella. I'm totally a dirty hippie at heart (Dr. Bronner's 4 EVA!), minus the dirt and the outdoor stuff. I'm going next year and I don't give an ish if I'm too old. If Pacey's old bones can go, I can too.
Anyway, Katy Perry showed up to Coachella with a new hair color: dark purple. And I love it! I wasn't that into the blue (or even the blonde), but this is super hot. It helps that her eyebrow game is on point in this picture, too. Those things are kickin' it, honey boo boo. If I were 10 years younger (or even five) I would rock the hell out of this hair. (And that dress! Minus the flower...) But instead, 10 years ago I looked like this:
My. God.
Yes, I am wearing a children's Eeyore shirt that I have fashioned into a cropped halter top. What you can't see is that my friend is wearing a matching outfit. (I cropped her out to protect her identity. I know she'll read this -- you're welcome.) Oh, the early 2000's...You truly were quite a gem.
Guess who else was there (except for, like, everyone)? Oh, Linds. You are such a card. I seriously don't know what kind of artificial nonsense you have pumped into your mug, but is it bad that I like it? I know I shouldn't approve of a 25 year old (!!!) getting fillers or whatever in her face, but she's looking refreshed! And her hair? It's so Victoria's Secret Angel-y! This is the least dirty Lilo has looked in YEARS and she's at Coachella. It's a Coachella miracle!
What do you guys think? Do you like Katy's purple hair? How about Lilo's work? Let's dish on this ish.
Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer's rep have confirmed to Entertainment Weekly that ol' Sooks is pregnant. Dammit, Bill! If you ruin True Blood for me, I'll hate you forever. (Too late.) Maybe there was a TB staff hot tub party and things got frisky, and there's a possibility that it's Eric or Alcide's kid.
A girl can dream...
P.S. I googled 'Alcide' (Shut up, it's RESEARCH!) and found this:
If all of my printer cartridges are dried up tomorrow, I think we all know why.
How much do you love (no pun intended) this pic, BT-dubs? Poor Jennifer Love Hewitt. I really feel for this b. I was reading this article over at X17 in which she talks about how she has a big crush on Adam Levine, and how he hasn't reached out to her to even thank her for airing said crush. And also how she @ tweeted Joe Jonas and told him to have a Happy Easter and to watch her show. What the what?
Giiiirl, do you not have any friends? You have been suffering from a case of the 'try too hards' for years now, J Love. You seem to be a very nice girl, but it's WAY. TOO. MUCH. The constantly talking about who you like, the vajazzling thing...Please stop. You are almost entering Courtney Stodden levels of attention-demanding stunts. I just can't with you anymore.
I want to make you a nice pot of chamomile tea, and have a little sit down like we're starring in a Summer's Eve commercial. "It's time to stop with this nonsense, honey." I'll say while I pat your hand. "Remember those pictures of you in the bikini playing tennis?" I'll gently remind her, while I pull out this picture, marked 'Exhibit 1B'.
"No one wears espadrilles while playing sports. Not even an OC Housewive." Then I'll hand her a guest Snuggie and we will watch The Client List (OG tv movie, not the show) together.
Call me, J Love.
Stop tweeting Jonas brothers, please.
Update :
I just found this JLH quote from US Weekly - "I carry McCormick's Pure Vanilla [in my purse] -- the baking kind --
and dab it on my neck... Men are attracted to the scent! One time, I put
it on and four different guys were like, 'You smell amazing!'"
Ugh.
P.S. I'm going to buy vanilla extract. I hate myself.
Lindsay Lohan left LA court today as a free woman. B's off probation! Pop bottles (please don't)!
I will say a quick "Thank you Jesus" to the fact that honey boo boo chile went back to being a ginge. I don't know what is happening so much with her facial sitch, but it (kinda?) looks good. She looks somewhat Leann Rimes-ish. But those toofs are looking good, and her skin looks like a human (and not an 80 year old one). But that pantsuit? Katie Couric, you are not. Even Ann Curry would throw you a hardcore side eye on that choice. And going up a size wouldn't kill you, kiddo.
Keep it together, Lindz.
Put one of these over your bed, and stare at it every morning. You'll be a-okay!
P.S. When you're bored (like you are after reading this ish), go to YouTube and search "Ann Curry." There are a bunch of videos of Ann Curry's legs. Why are creepers so creepy?
Here's a video of (forever in my mind) Cher Horowitz feeding her kid by chewing up her food and spitting it into his mouth. I don't have kids, so maybe I'm out of the loop in life. Is this a thing? Do people spit in their baby's mouths? Wouldn't your kid be hanging on your mouth all the time like one of these things?
I'm not going to lie. This ish freaks me out a little. I would be all:
Okay, maybe not that harsh. It is an infant, after all.
Selena Gomez has been filming a movie in my town for the past few weeks, along with ol' Smirks McGee (Government Name: Vanessa Hudgens). I gave not really a crap about this, unless I got to see that b. And alas, I have not. So I pretty much felt like this:
That is until a couple of days ago, when the plot started to thicken on this ish. That's when I found out that THE BIEBS was here! Staying right down the street from me, at the Vinoy.
I hear that this place is haunted, so I secretly hope that the ghost of Abagail Adams (???) haunted him and he tee-teed in the bed. Fingers crossed! THIS B supposedly spent $18k IN ONE FRIGGIN' NIGHT. Okay, Justin Bieber! I see you! Ridic.
It gets even closer to home for me. Sunday night, these two little love muffins were seen at the sports bar NEXT DOOR to my damn apartment. What the what?
Here's my professional photograph. They obviously have nice garbage receptacles. So here's the haps from my source, who happens to be my radio host friend, Holly. She talked to a waitress over at Ferg's (the lovely bar pictured) that said that Selena and Biebs ALLEGEDLY got a little crunk on purple drank (not literally). They apparently were drinkin' and fightin' like they were on an epi of Teen Mom. The Bieb-ster stormed out after a fight, and later came back to hang more. See? Celebs are just like us!
(That was strictly a recreation, and not really a Justin Bieber video.)
I saw this beauty cruising down the interstate today, and I REALLY hope that those two crazy kids are shacked up inside.
Yes, that is an airbrushed portrait of cuddling white tigers on the back of an RV.
P.S. For some reason every time that I type "Justin Bieber" I almost always type "Justin Beaver." Coincidence? I think not...
So, um hi guys. I know a lot of you are all, "And you are???" I know. I haven't blogged in about 8 million years. But I got a retail job a few weeks ago, and I've been busy y'alls! (Worst excuse of the year? 'Haps.) BUT, I just got a new computer and I made a pact with myself that I would blog AT LEAST four times a week. Mmmmkay? Mmmmkay. Now that that nonsensical madness is out of the way, let's discuss this.
TWEEEEEEE! (Okay, so "TWEEEEE!" is what I say in my mind when I see something I like that is completely age inappropriate for me to be into. See: Hunger Games, Hello Kitty, pretty pink stuff.) So here's Jennifer Lawrence from The Hunger Games premiere. Um, if this ish isn't TWEEEEE-rific, I don't know what the eff is. Katniss is looking all kinds of minx-y in this getup. Everything is a big ol' YEEEEAAAAS for me on this.
What do you guys think? Into it? Feel like vomiting? (Maybe you had some bad shellfish.)
P.S. I'm thinking of doing a a Hunger Games makeup tutorial vid. Probably something Effie Trinket-ish.
Would you guys like that? Still want to vomit? Let a sister know.
Actually the weirdest thing about this picture is not the fact that C Stodd is wearing lucite heels while jogging (Is it pronounced yaw-ging?), it's the fact that b now has a bodyguard. What in f's sake does she need security? Are those diamond-encrusted stripper shoes? B, please. And homeboy needs to go visit a Men's Warehouse, ASAP. That is an ill-fitting mess of a blazer if I have ever seen one.
Holly Golightly's townhouse made famous by Breakfast at Tiffany's is for sale for almost $6 million. Anyone want to go one-millionth-sies with me? You can check out more pictures of the place, which was previously owned by some muckety muck banker dude that was collared for insider trading, over at Curbed.
You guys, try to hold back your jealousy. Just because the overly-aged alien that we call Hot Stoddy wore a prom dress to the mall yesterday, and you did not, is no reason to be mean to her! Although it does make sense. B got married to a dude the age of her Gramp Gramp before she was old enough to go to prom! It's an "A-ha!" moment for us all.
P.S. In what world does that purse even come CLOSE to going with that dress? Oh yeah, in C Stodd's alien homeland.
This is the first picture leaked from the production of The Great Gatsby, which comes out NEXT holiday season. Arg! I don't want to wait that long! I love this time period, it's so freaking sexy. I mean look at those finger waves that Gemma Ward is rocking! If that isn't hotness, I don't know what is. Plus, "The Great Gatsby" is one of my favorite books. Shut up, I read! East Egg, West Egg, I love eggs!
Are you guy excited about this movie? What time period do you wish you lived in?
EDIT: Just Jared posted more pictures. Here's one of Leo, Tobey Maguire, and Carey Mulligan. Click here to see more from the set!
Jennifer Lopez is producing and probably STARRING in a live-action remake of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, according to Deadline. I am not okay with this. (But I am okay with JLo's earrings here. Hey, girl!) Seriously, what the eff is next? Tom Cruise starring in a remake of Oregon Trail? Just because you like to wear hats, b, doesn't mean you can be Carmen Sandiego. No ma'am! Next!
Pin It
Radar Online posted this picture of America's sweetheart (in my mind) stepping out to get coffee in her casual finest. Isn't this what you guys wear to pick up coffee? A pushup bra with clear bra straps, a tube top, hot pants and an arm cuff? And I usually tease and Aqua Net my hair, while sporting a supposed "naked face." Read this quote given to Radar from mama Stodden, and TRY not to feel gross. I dare you:
“Courtney looks the most beautiful when she steps out of the shower soaking wet."
Cue the dry heaves. So here's my theory. I think Courtney Stodden is an alien time traveler. She thinks that she's in 1994 (That's the year she studied on her spaceship before landing on Earth.), so to her she looks totes the norm. Think about it! It doesn't not NOT make sense, right? This coming from the b that has watched approximately 89 episodes of Twilight Zone today.
I don't care why or how she arrived in my life, I just hope she never leaves.
TMZ is reporting that Kim Kardashian and her husband are filing for divorce after 72 days of marriage. Have you even gotten your wedding pictures back at this point? That ish is quick as hell. I didn't have THAT much hope for these two, anyway. I think any time you date/marry someone that has the same name as a family member (not to mention your MOM), crap's not going to work. That mess is creepy.
I also just wanted to post a picture of Kim's costume this year. For having a multi-bajillion dollar empire, this looks low-rent as hell. I mean, shouldn't poor-ass plebeians like us be raiding Michaels and hot gluing plastic leaves to corsets? For shame! (I originally typed "sham." I should have kept the typo. Fitting!)
Just a couple of tricks this year, no treats. Courtney Stodden, everyone's favorite, demure teenager dressed as a "little girl" for Halloween this year. While her husband dressed as...her? Bleh. Please, you know it's not the first time that man has tucked for his life and slapped on some sequins. Don't even get me started on his sensible auntie heels. I see you, Doug. You aren't fooling me.
P.S. They're wearing matching nail polish.
P.P.S. You don't learn your "good" photo angles and how to smile with your eyes overnight, Doug. Quit playing.
All these other hoes need to sit the eff down. This b is the OG Stunt Queen. And I'm sorry, but I WISH I could rock a pair of hose like Richard Simmons. Those are some nice stems! (Stems credit: Cher Horowitz)
Pin It
