Showing posts with label 90's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 90's. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Lazy Blogging: Read Something That I Already Wrote
This week for Allure, I tell you how to be a total '90s b (all over again). Damn, I'm old. Read all about it here.
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Labels:
90's
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Allure
,
Beauty
,
Beauty Blogger of the Year
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Why Not Start Your Saturday Off With Some Delightful Music Stylings? (AKA The Worst Music Video Ever.)
This video was dubbed on YouTube as "the worst music video ever." After watching it roughly seven times, it has kind of become my anthem. It's like the modern day version of Aretha Franklin's "Respect," or something. And lucky for you, I have transcribed the happenings of the entire 4:18 of this diamond in the rough. YOU ARE WELCOME, world.
The first 30 seconds of this mess looks like an opening for a really, really, sh*tty Chicago-based soap opera. Then we see our heroine, looking most reminiscent of a younger, blonder, George Costanza's mother. In the next shot, we really get to see what homegirl is working with, and let me clue you in, sister, those pants are atrocious. It's like FUPAs were breeding with more FUPAs up in there. If it were legal to burn whatever material that makes up those pants, I would highly suggest it. After ANOTHER long shot of the Chicago skyline, our eyes can feast upon the romantic lead of the story. Now, we KNOW that he's a bad boy, because not only is he leather-clad and mulleted, but HE PARKS HIS MOTORCYCLE IN A "NO PARKING" AREA. Swoon city, party of one! Amiright?!? It's time of a little backstory -- we get a vignette of them walking together in matching outfits, with matching, puffy ass hair, and waving to pretend friends (adoring fans?), then riding off into the
P.S. I just saw that Darla's name is really Jan. I'm going to suggest that you go ahead and change that, Jan. It's Darla, now.
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Labels:
90's
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Gross
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Music
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Video
,
What Is Happening Here
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Get Out Your Fancy Scrunchie.
Holy sh*t, you guys. Screw all of that talk about Destiny's Child getting back together, because over on Buzzfeed they are saying that Kriss (m. effin') Kross ARE REUNITING for a one time concert in Atlanta next month. Let's not pretend like you weren't into this at the time:
You know you tried to force your denim overalls, that your mom bought you from JC Penney's kids' section, on awkwardly backwards, or you are wiggady wiggady wiggady whack. You tried. We all did. Oh and by the by, friends, here's what ol' KK looks like now.
Dude on the left is a DEAD RINGER for either KC or JoJo -- I never really figured out who's who.
And don't even get me started on that friggin' turtleneck. Did he time machine here? Now let's all get tickets to this ish and car pool together. Whose mom can drive? We're bringing back middle school.
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You know you tried to force your denim overalls, that your mom bought you from JC Penney's kids' section, on awkwardly backwards, or you are wiggady wiggady wiggady whack. You tried. We all did. Oh and by the by, friends, here's what ol' KK looks like now.
via buzzfeed |
And don't even get me started on that friggin' turtleneck. Did he time machine here? Now let's all get tickets to this ish and car pool together. Whose mom can drive? We're bringing back middle school.
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Thursday, December 13, 2012
GUUUUUURL of the Day: Katie Holmes' Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Dress
Let me start off by actually saying something nice. Single looks good as eff on K Holmie when it comes to the facial and hair areas. Boo boo is looking tons less robotic and dead eyed than she did when she was with lil' man. So "Yay!" for all of that. Now, let's get b*tchy for a hot minute. I cannot look at this dress she wore to the Sandy Relief Concert last night without having total recall of Donatello from TMNT.
B has stick skills. |
Remember THESE monstrosities?!? |
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Labels:
90's
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Fashion
,
GUUUUUURL of the Day
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Honey No
Disney Rides Are NEVER This Fun.
Wait...So is this a ghost story? I am completely and totally jealous of every single effin' person in this video. The late 80's/early 90's were so equal parts magical and disgusting, weren't they? They were the best of times, they were the worst of times. And if that's what it's like to be a construction worker, sign my ass up. I didn't realize that strong choreography was a job requirement.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012
GUUUUUURL of the Day: Jared Leto's Browless Ass
via huffpo |
Jared Leto and a friend on their way to lunch. |
Jared is usually a stone cold ass fox, so this is some harsh crap. I will donate my hair to make this man some emergency brows, if need be. I AM FRIGHTENED. What the eff would Rickie say about this?
Oh. Well, Rickie's too busy being hot to worry about Jordan/Jared's eyebrow game. But you know who's not? My ass.
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Saturday, November 24, 2012
THIS SH*T HAS GONE TOO FAR, JUSTIN BIEBER. Go to your room immediately, young man!
pics via Bieb's instagram |
But my biggest issue is the I-undid-one-overall-strap thing that is happening. ARE WE REALLY HERE AGAIN? Because you know who wore this look better?
DONNIE EFFING WAHLBERG, B*TCH. You can't even rock the 'alls as hard as Jordan.
Okay, maybe Jordan. Homeboy has a rat tail halfway to his ass.
P.S. Can we all just drink in this photo for a moment?
My life will never be as wonderful as it is at this moment. NKOTB 4 EVA.
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Labels:
90's
,
Celebrities
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Fashion
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I Just Can't Anymore
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Justin Bieber
,
NKOTB
,
Not Today
Monday, November 12, 2012
It's Ryan Gosling's Birthday, Girl.
In celebration of the hotness that is currently Ryan Gosling, let's look upon another time. A time when the Gos Sauce was not SO hot...
Now back to the current day.
Pretty much.
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Oh sh*t. This is the best. I can't even hang with those accessories. |
Sweet headband. |
Aaaand with a cameo from JT's hair. Yikes |
Pretty much.
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Labels:
90's
,
Boy Stuff
,
Happy Birthday
,
Ryan Gosling
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Random Homie: Ralph Lauren Big Pony (Whaaa?) Women's Collection #2 Perfume
sephora, $19-$70 |
This perfume smells sweet, clean, and fresh. Like a sunny Summer's (not eve) day. I feel more clean when I spray it, even if my lazy ass hasn't happened to have showered. (Hey, that ish happens when you're LAZEEE 4 LYFE, and sometimes quite frequently. Judge away, I'll just be spraying my Big Pony over here.) Bottom line, I want to ride this pony.
Sorry. I would be COMPLETELY remiss if I didn't go there. Good God, where is Ginuwine?
P.S. Now that I'm older, I totally appreciate the fact that Ginuwine actually misspelled genuine so that he could have "wine" in his name.
P.P.S. THIS.
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Friday, November 2, 2012
The Only 90's Tori Spelling Photo Round Up You'll Ever Need. (You Are Freaking Welcome, People.)
If Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus and broccoli had a baby, this would be its hair. |
This is a helluva lot of look, T Spell. Helluva lot. |
I really just wanted to post BAG's hair in this picture. |
What is happening? Even the dog is freaked the eff out. |
Dream 90's wedding. Annnnnnd cue vomit. |
Somebody get the V05 Hot Oil Treatments in bulk. Immediately. |
Holy sh*t. Lumiere is hanging from Donna Martin's ear. Times are tough, man. |
My God. No. Is this a Project Runway/Michael's challenge? |
I can't ever stop with this movie. WATCH. IT. |
Oh, brother. Trim your bangs. |
Like I could leave out mutha effin' Violet. Harry Potter bit homegirl's look. |
P.S. I still totally dance like this. I am joking 0%.
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Wednesday, October 31, 2012
GUUUUUURL of the Day: Ice Ice Baby's 90's Semi-Nude Pictorial
pic via buzzfeed |
I apologize for my lack of "FACE" I'm giving in this, but this is real life in this b. Sorry, Icey, this is not cute.
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Friday, October 5, 2012
Pictures to Peruse While Listening to Jock Jams
Ugh. Remember this disgustingness? |
That's a badass b rollin' deep right there. |
Oh, No Fear shirts. Never have charm and trash collided in such a way. |
Does this even need a caption? |
I had this exact crimper. Y'all ready for this? |
I had these shoes, too. Flawless. Thanks, Spice Girls. |
Get that Guts agrocrag, honey. |
Please tell me you guys remember Pumps. Why the eff do we need air to tighten the shoes, again??? |
Okay, so you should probably listen to grunge for this, but tell me you don't want that earring. |
Seriously, why? |
Who loves sweaty feet with dirt particles stuck to them? |
I once cried because of this show. I was 15. |
This is way after Jock Jams, but exactly WHAT THE EFF IS THIS? |
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